TV Recap: Dancing With The Stars

I was very excited to see the dances this week, Latin Week. And how could you not be? The spicy samba and the romantic rumba really heated up the dance floor last night. As was to be expected, not everyone lived up to the expectations surrounding the sexiest night of the season, but then again, not everyone can be a winner.

If not for the dancing, then at least last night was worth tuning in to for the costumes. The men were decked out on sequins and open shirts while the woman showed some serious skin. They didn't need much clothing considering the sweat they worked up dancing two of the greatest dances in ballroom.

Marie Osmond started out the night with a samba that was less than sizzling. With as much personality as she has, it is such a shame when it’s not quite reflected in her dancing. Even though for the most part Marie and Jonathan dance well together, I think she’d have been better in this competition five or ten years ago. She’s not always sharp and last night was a lot slower than I anticipated for the fun, quick, spicy samba. Her age becomes really apparent at times. Len was starting to say how difficult this dance is to master when Marie’s eyes rolled back in her head and she fell to the floor. Luckily she was completely all right, but the judges scores suggested that she was weak even before passing out. I’d say she might be the one to go if it weren’t for all those Osmond fans out there that are bound to keep her in for at least a little while longer.

Jane Seymour turned up the heat on the stove a smidgen. She is very elegant, but I, personally, don’t think elegance is enough to get you through a competition that envelops both slow, deliberate dances and spunky, flirty, sassy ones. She has done the fox trot, the Viennese waltz and the rumba with grace and elegance, because that’s what those dances call for. Her mambo in week two brought her the lowest scores she’s seen, because she wasn’t raunchy enough, and her tango in week three came on the heels of her mother’s passing, and was full of angst and passion and pain. Not everyone has it in them to be dynamic and diverse, and playing it pretty won’t win. Jane and Tony work well together, but I think he needs to push her even harder if they want to have a real chance to dominate every kind of dance.

Mark Cuban’s samba was not sexy. It was fun and bouncy and entertaining, as the samba should be, but it was by no means Latin sexy. The “I Dream of Jeannie” theme was cute, and I thought Mark and Kym’s energy was positive and contagious, but the hips weren’t quite right and he still looks a little awkward from time to time. The judges agreed that his performance, like always, was fun to watch, but that his technique needs work. Mark was saying during practice that he doesn’t necessarily care what the judges have to say, as long as he and Kym enjoy dancing and the fans enjoy watching. We’ll see how well the fans enjoyed it, and if Mark can stay out of the bottom two another week, on tomorrow night’s results show.

Sabrina Bryan, surprise, surprise, really set the tone for the rest of the night’s dancing. She and Mark were very sensuous, very steamy and very sexy together in their rumba. (This is, of course, in part thanks to Mark’s mom, Shirley Ballas, three-time World Latin Champion, who stopped by rehearsals to show Sabrina how to properly seduce her son...which wasn’t weird at all). Mark said the samba is “a vertical expression of a horizontal desire,” and he wasn’t kidding. Theirs was the first dance last night that really looked like it belonged on the ballroom floor. After getting perfect scores last week, it might have been hard to hear that a few of the poses last night were a little over-the-top, or that Sabrina’s turns aren’t always on, but Sabrina and Mark still snagged one 10, so I guess they can’t be too heartbroken. You can’t be perfect every time.

If only Jennie Garth would just believe in herself a wee bit more, she could be up in the top two or three every week. She kicked some serious butt the last two weeks, pushing young Derek around on the dance floor as though he were her pool boy, but something was amiss in her samba this last night. She started out a little off, I think, and wasn’t quite on top of all her individual moves. When she’s with Derek, spinning or splitting or whatever, Jennie is right on, but alone she lacks self confidence. Even after booty shaking lessons with a professional, she still didn’t quite have the milkshake that would bring the other boys to the yard. Carrie Ann and Bruno appreciated her getting more out of her comfort zone and trying to be more sexy, but noticed she ran low on steam by the end. Len, once again, came to her rescue and gave her a higher score than the other judges. (Am I sensing a little 90210 fan in ol’ Lennie?).

I like to think that there is something going on between at least one partnership on this show, and more often than not I wish it were Helio Castroneves and Julianne. They are both adorable and innocent, and that’s a hot combo. When they were dancing on the beach in rehearsals, I thought maybe they would wanna get down in the sand, it seemed passionate and connected and everything the rumba should be. But once they got out in front of the audience and cameras, they lost something. I still thought the performance was good, but the judges tore poor Helio apart, calling his moves mechanical, telling him he looked like he was in pain and letting him know how unsatisfied they were with his and Julianne’s lack of chemistry. I think Helio and his lovely partner have enough natural chemistry to start a lab on fire, but last night did seem a little forced. His scores were still decent, and I think a lot of people want to see what more his little engine can do.

Before I start with Mel Brown, I have to say, Victoria Beckham looks really sort of icky next to “natural,” healthy women. No wonder she’s only photographed alone, with her small children or with her ultra-fit, absolutely gorgeous husband. I’d like to force feed that woman a cheeseburger, and maybe a regular Coke. Anyway, Mel and Maksim put on an excellent performance last night, taking home the glory of beating out Sabrina for the top spot by snatching two 10s. Obviously being back with the Spice Girls was all Mel needed to get back on her A-game. Her samba was lively and fun, covering most of the floor and stage, it was exactly the sort of performance you want to see her performing. Mel seems to be able to adapt to whatever dance is thrown her way, which must be why Bruno thinks she’s the best. Let’s see if she can escape the bogusocity (no, it’s not a real word) of the bottom two.

Cameron Mathison and Edyta Sliwinska should make babies. Period. They are both outrageously good-looking, both can dance, it’s a no-brainer. (Except for the fact that both are married, Edyta to Josie Maran’s unfortunate partner, Alec Mazo, it would be perfect). Last night Cameron said he wanted the judges to need a cold shower after his rumba with Edyta. I sure did. The chemistry between them was unlike anything I’ve ever seen on reality television before (meaning that it was genuine and real). Their dance was sexual and intense and romantic and sexual. I don’t know why Len doesn’t like Edyta’s one-legged spins, maybe he’s jealous she’s not wrapping her long, lean legs around him. Cameron and Edyta did Latin Week proud.

Jennifer Lopez

is in the house tomorrow night for the unveiling of the results, which is pretty sweet considering she’s a relatively big star (meaning, obviously, that she would never actually participate in the show, and therefore will only be a guest). Who’s gotta go? I have absolutely no idea. See you tomorrow!

Connect with Us
Follow Our Pins

Yummy recipes, DIY projects, home decor, fashion and more curated by iVillage staffers.

Follow Our Tweets

The very dirty truth about fashion internships... DUN DUN @srslytheshow

On Instagram

Behind-the-scenes pics from iVillage.

Best of the Web