Photo Credit: ABC/ADAM TAYLOR
Last week: Sugar Ray Leonard was punnily knocked out of the competition. This week's dances will "pledge allegiance to the mirror ball" (did I really just hear that?) with American-themed numbers, and it's anyone's guess who will shoot to the top in this schlockfest.
As the eight remaining stars -- and stripes, har hars Tom -- parade down the red and blue stairs, the costumes are predictably spangled, striped, cowboy- and military-themed... and gay dance club? Thanks, Maks! You always keep it interesting. I'm sure there's a patriotic pun for Kirstie Alley falling on her butt somewhere in there. Brooke tells us tonight is also the occasion of the 1,000th competitive dance. Please let it be, Kirstie, please let it be Kirstie!
Watch the full episode below: