TV Recap: Dancing With The Stars, The Results

As soon as Marie Osmond was announced safe early on in the show, I knew immediately that we would have to say goodbye to either Jennie Garth or Cameron Mathison. And I was right. No longer will we have the pleasure of gazing at Cameron's Super edible chest or envying Edyta's flawless figure. I don't think his dismissal had much shock value, but I will miss him nonetheless. He improved light years over the course of the last eight weeks, and even though he never snagged a 10, I always enjoyed watching him.

Once again, the bottom two were left shrouded in mystery. Mel Brown, one of the best dancers ever in the history of the show, joined Cameron, the long-limbed enthusiastic improver and Jennie, the dark horse who just might snatch up the trophy, in the unlucky three, shall we say? Jennie has never hung her head in the shame that can only be found inches from elimination, did she join Cameron in the bottom two? Or was it Mel? Thanks to ABC's sneaky little twist, we'll never know. After Sabrina Bryan got the boot, anything's possible.

Gloria Estefan made it to the set last night to perform new song “A Bailar” and her classic “Conga.” I am not her biggest fan in the world, but she is Gloria Estefan, and I’m no hater. Her first song was accompanied by two pairs of dancers who looked like they belonged in a night club in the heart of Havana. Gloria even joined them on the dance floor and shimmied a little. Apparently the rhythm got her (cheesy, I know, but I couldn’t resist). Four spicy dancers, including Julianne, Maksim and Mark, couldn’t control themselves any longer as they cha chad and shook their bodies to the “Conga” beat for Gloria’s second performance.

Fatima Robinson, who has choreographed music videos for Michael Jackson, Gwen Stefani and Fergie, and movies, including Dreamgirls, danced onscreen last night for the first time in six years. Her dancing in the Stars of Dance segment reminded me of a music video. That woman really knows how to do her job.

For the first time, we got some real insight into the professionals’ backgrounds. Maksim Chmerkovskiy may be seen as the bad boy of dance, but apparently we are all confusing his passionate charisma with a cocky ego. He joined a school of aesthetic education at the ripe age of four, since that was typical for high society gentlemen. Maksim gentle? Ha, okay. Julianne Hough, the dewy faced girl next door, moved to London at age 10 to live with an instructor and master her craft. Her brother, Derek Hough, said that all men who watch her want her while the women who watch her want to be her. Well said, big brother. Derek didn’t want to dance at age 10, when he was pushed into it by his mom. Good thing he stuck with it, because he brings a new dynamic to the show. Edyta Sliwinska also started dancing at age 10, but unlike Derek, she always knew the ballroom was where she wanted to be. Jonathan Roberts is quite possibly the best teacher of them all, patient and kind, always wanting to bring out the best in his students. Unlike the rest of his Dancing cohorts, Jonathan didn’t get started until much later in life, at age 20, when he saw an inspirational movie (he failed to mention which one).

Anthony Robbins and Dr. Michael Beckwith, both inspirational gurus, if you will, lent their two cents about the stars (nothing we didn’t already know, but it was nice of them to stop by). Jimmy Kimmel made another unnecessary and unfunny appearance. Thanks for nothing, Jimmy.

Next week we get to see what Len has whipped up for each of the four semi-finalists.

Helio Castroneves

is a man on his own. Jennie, Mel and Marie stand between the trophy and yet another male champion. Do these ladies have what it takes to regain possession of what hasn’t been theirs since season one? (I know at least one of them does). Only time will tell. Until next week...

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