Dancing With The Stars Recap: The Results

Bye, bye, Floyd Mayweather.

Last night American bid farewell to the world champ, shoving him off the dance floor back into the boxing ring. Seriously, how upset can he really be? Sure, he wanted to win, but so does everyone else in the competition. He made it to week four, did really relatively well, receiving genuine compliments and constructive criticism from the judges each week. And come on, he's the best boxer in the world, for ballroom's sake. Is it absolutely necessary that he be the best at everything?

Is it just me or was there some serious nonsense surrounding Spice Girl Melanie Brown being in the bottom two? She's been rockin' out with her jock (Maksim) out... What the crap? That chick's got big time potential to go with that big mouth of hers. I'd like to say that I'd like to see her sidestep right over some of the other competitors, but I love them all and it's honestly way too soon to predict who will come out on top (yes, I really feel that way, Sabrina factor and all). At least Maksim gets to go to London and be in the (Old) Spice video. That'll be fun. Say hello to Victoria and her delicious husband for me.

The surprises didn’t end there. Wade Robson, super sweet choreographer to the stars who hasn’t performed on television in four years (and who loses major points for having hooked up with Britney Spears, ew), did a scary little number with the help of some very creepy jack-in-the-box-looking dancing joker creatures. Now I’m going to have nightmares. Thanks, Wade. (P.S. the dancing was hot and my five-year-old nephew, who hates it when I make him sit with me during Dancing, loved it, too, and didn’t stop his own dance number for a good half hour. High fives).

Gloria Estefan was supposed to perform but didn’t, due to “personal reasons,” so the rhythm got the house band instead. Drew Lachey, Wayne Newton and Cheryl Burke came back to do a little number. This time Wayne was on the stage where he belongs (although his singing doesn’t seem to be much better than his dancing), and Cheryl and Drew were back together on the dance floor where they had created enough magic to take home the trophy in season two. I had never seen Drew dance. I can see why he won.

On a side not, Jimmy Kimmel was back, attempting to stir up a giggle with some lame sketch about tanning making you look old. I’ve never seen this guy be funny, so why does ABC insist on letting him waste five minutes of air time on the results shows? I say take that five minutes and have Cameron put on a little gun show...

So it’s anyone’s game. Three men and five women remain. Who will ride off into the sunset, leaving a trail of blazing glory, and who will go home with their tails between their legs? Only time will tell. See you next time for an extra zesty edition of

Dancing with the Stars

as the competition gets even hotter for Latin Week!

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