Dangerous curves ahead

Before getting all science-y on you, two announcements:

1) Stay tuned and thou shalt be handsomely rewarded…I’m doing another healthy holiday giveaway through www.lrdiaries.com – in a week or so, I’ll be telling you here about a slew of hot products, then sending you to my book site for deets, yada yada, you know the drill. All it’ll cost is a comment. Lots of opportunities to stock yer stuffings coming up!

2) RSS Feed in the house! See above…

Now, let’s talk curves.

We’ve all heard about how men are biologically drawn to curvy, hourglass-shaped women because their cinched waists and full hips send an “Impregnate Me” signal. As Dr. Sir Mix-a-lot once famously and sagely rapped, “36-24-36? Only if she’s 5’3”…and ovulating.” (Indeed, studies have shown that a waist-to-hip ratio of 0.7 or lower - as a point of reference, Playboy centerfolds typically sport waist-to-hip ratios of 0.68 - is linked with increased fertility and lower rates of chronic disease, making a woman seem particularly tasty in terms of her motherhood potential.)

But a female anthropologist from the University of Utah is now coming to the rescue of Apples everywhere (not to be confused with Apple Bottoms), speaking out against the Fertile Myrtle theory and saying that larger waist-to-hip ratios may actually be a sign that a lady is physically stronger, more competitive and better able to deal with stress than her Marilynesque comrades.

It works like this:  Hormones called androgens (testosterone being one of them) drive up a gal’s waist-to-hip ratio by increasing fat carried around the waist. Elevated androgen levels are associated with increased strength, stamina, and competitiveness. Adding to the chemical soup, the stress hormone cortisol also increases fat carried around the waist.

What this means is a woman with a bit of a muffin top may simply be better-equipped to deal with stressful circumstances than her Size 26-waisted sister. Men lay their eyes on such a woman and see qualities like stamina, initiative, assertiveness, and dominance -- all useful when selecting a would-be Baby Mama.

Porn and Maxim Magazine aside, it’s hard to believe that men are such mindless, hormonally-driven creatures, incapable of making rational, logical decisions NOT based on a woman’s curves. OK, maybe not. But still, I find it hard to imagine that two people would catch each other’s eye across a hot, sweaty, crowded bar and the thought of producing a strong child would be at the forefront of their pants. Er…minds.  Are we no smarter than our hunting and gathering ancestors?

But it’s not ALL up to men. Witness the female peacock’s tendency to pick (peck?) males with the longest, most colorful tail feathers, as they tend to indicate genetic strength which can be passed on to Baby Peacock. Such is the straight women’s predilection towards men with pretty faces (think Brad, Leo, Zac). Sometimes women are in the driver’s seat. We’re don’t have to, gosh, just sit on the sidelines, showing off our waist –to-hip ratios and waiting for a guy to pick us.

We can chase some tail, too.

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