I knew it could never be that easy again! In truth, this is the start of only our fourth month of "trying" this time. I know many couples who have tried for so much longer and I do applaud their driving desire to continue. I however have found myself terribly discouraged. The decision to try again was long debated, as we had experienced a difficult first few months with Jacob. As the oldest of four children I am well aware that no two babies are alike. Rob however was the youngest in his family. His first real experience with an infant occurred in the delivery room about a minute after Jacob was born. Thus, he was justifiably a bit concerned about our ability to handle another first few months that might rival Jacob's. I've never been as upset as the day he told me he thought one child was enough for our family. And, only the news of Jacob's impending birth rivals the joy I felt a few weeks ago when he suggested it might be okay to try again.
And yet, three months worth of attempts and waiting have proved fruitless. I'm afraid Rob is beginning to think I'm driven only to conceive another child at the expense of any possible romance in our lives. (Let's be honest, romance isn't always the easiest thing to come by when you already have a toddler and to fill any available moment with the added pressure of "making a baby" is in fairness, stressful.) As of this week I've vowed to adopt the "let's just see what happens"attitude. I've consulted online ovulation calculators and to the best of my non-professional ability observed daily subtle changes in my body, but when all is said and done, I've decided to just let nature take it's course. In truth, as upsetting as each negative pregnancy test has been, I've also been somewhat happy because it means I have one more month to concentrate solely on my little Jacob.