Did I or Didn't I: Signs of the Big O

I have had sex only two times, and I'm not sure whether I had an orgasm. Can you tell me what the signs are so that I know whether I got there? --S


Dear S:

In all my years of sex coaching, the one thing I cherish most is helping women find their orgasmic potential. And unless you know the signs of an orgasm, you can miss it entirely. Some women experience only slight sensations and do not track that as orgasm. Others feel as if they barely stay in their bodies as they explode into the cosmos. Each woman has a unique sexual cycle and response pattern. Your pattern belongs to you and you alone.

There are, however, universal signs of an orgasm, including physical changes to the body, including the genital area. These include:

  • Swelling of the genitalia, due to the infusion of blood to the region
  • Darker coloration of the genital tissues, especially the inner lips
  • Swelling of the clitoris itself, often making it stick out visibly
  • Audible and often more rapid breathing just before the release
  • An energetic release, almost like air whooshing out of a tire when punctured
  • Heaving of the chest
  • Erect nipples
  • Pelvic lifting or thrusting
  • Moaning
  • Vaginal, anal or G-spot contractions
  • Curling of the toes and sometimes fingers, or myotonia

Some women also exude a stream of wetness, sometimes referred to as female ejaculation.

These are distinct signs. No wonder everyone wants an orgasm. It is a mystical state of grace.

For more advice on getting the most out of sex, check out Dr. Patti's Love Lessons:

  • The Secret of Sexual Arousal: Spend five weeks discovering the secrets and sensations of arousal -- and find out what sexual satisfaction is all about!
  • 30 Days of Great Sex: This five-week program will help you and your partner get closer in -- and out -- of bed and learn new ways to satisfy each other sexually.

Like This? Read These!
- Quiz: How Hot Is Your Sex Life?
- Love Compatibility Quiz
- Techniques for Truly Mind-Blowing Sex
- Increase Your Sex Appeal

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