Discover Your Sexual Spirit

Step 3: Discover the Power of Ritual

These sessions were Sally's way of connecting with her sexual spirit. She felt close to herself, and reported to me that these were the only moments that she felt whole and alive. For her, this was a spiritual experience of claiming herself, of feeling her own sexual power, and of honoring and loving her body, mind and spirit. By setting aside the time and place regularly, Sally began to grow in her sexual self-confidence. She began to realize that she did not need a man to complete her and stopped what she called her "desperate hunt" for a partner. She even became more successful in her career. By making masturbation a ritualized experience and thereby connecting with her sexual spirit, Sally became more aware and grew not only sexually but personally and professionally as well.

I suggest that you try this self-pleasuring ritual for yourself. Find a comfortable setting, where you will be undisturbed and where you feel comfortable, even sexy. Then set a time that you're sure you won't be forced to change -- what I like to call a "sacred time." Place around you an array of objects that enhance your sense of spirit, such as rose-colored candles (which open the heart center), aromas that uplift you (such as lavender, ylang ylang or rose essential oils), and play music that inspires your erotic and spiritual energies (such as a Native American flute, New Age music, electronica or whatever works for you). Do not make orgasm your goal. Instead, allow yourself to experience the pleasures and feelings of the moment. Accept them, enjoy them and cherish this time alone with yourself. Remember, it is when we love ourselves that we can truly open ourselves to loving and being loved by others.

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