Discover Your Sexual Spirit

Step 4: Learning Tantric Practices

So far in this lesson, you have been working on finding and connecting with your sexual spirit, alone or with a partner. Now, we are going to focus on another pathway for tapping into that spiritual side of yourself by looking at the practice of tantric sex. Tantra means union; it is a form of yoga. I first encountered tantric teachings in the early 1980s while on an intensive yoga workshop in the mountains of Mexico.

One of the other students was a teacher of tantra. He was a seasoned workshop leader who had a charismatic presence that allowed the group to trust him as a guide. Over the course of several nights, he taught us how to find the seven chakras (or energy centers) of the body and how to chant mantras (or sacred sounds) while focusing our attention on each chakra. He also explained how combining spiritual intention with sexual contact can result in deeper levels of connection with a partner. Despite the fact that I didn't have a partner at that time, I began to understand that by using and joining personal energies, we are more able to share ourselves with another person at a deep level. Many couples, especially those in long-term relationships, crave this deeper connection. Practicing tantra is one way to get it.

One thing you can do as a couple to enhance your lovemaking, build a stronger union with your partner and feel the power of your own sexual spirit is to concentrate on your breathing before and during sex. In tantric teachings, this is called connective breathing. Often couples report to me that when they synchronize their breathing -- breathe in unison at the same rhythm -- they feel as one. That wonderful feeling of being truly united with someone is the ecstasy you feel when you merge sexuality and spirit. Here is how you do it: Sit facing each other, preferably naked, with your legs intertwined, arms around each other and chest to chest. Then breathe together, slowly at first. Inhale, exhale, inhale exhale and so on. After practicing taking conscious breaths for about two minutes without stopping (which, by the way, will seem a lot longer than that), you may begin to feel more in harmony with your lover. You will feel a sense of unity, and may even feel a surge of loving feelings or emotions radiating from the center of your chest, the heart chakra.

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