I suggest that you try this self-pleasuring ritual for yourself. Find a comfortable setting, where you will be undisturbed and where you feel comfortable, even sexy. Then set a time that you're sure you won't be forced to change -- what I like to call a "sacred time." Place around you an array of objects that enhance your sense of spirit, such as rose-colored candles (which open the heart center), aromas that uplift you (such as lavender, ylang ylang or rose essential oils), and play music that inspires your erotic and spiritual energies (such as a Native American flute, New Age music, electronica or whatever works for you). Do not make orgasm your goal. Instead, allow yourself to experience the pleasures and feelings of the moment. Accept them, enjoy them and cherish this time alone with yourself. Remember, it is when we love ourselves that we can truly open ourselves to loving and being loved by others.
As I mentioned earlier, couples, too, can integrate ritual into their lovemaking to enhance their intimate bond. After all, studies show that over time sexual interest and frequency of lovemaking wane in long-term, committed relationships. To rekindle the spark and break out of the same old lovemaking routine, I recommend the integration of ritual. It can really recharge your sexual engines!