The Disney Princesses Wear the Pants

When you think of a princess, you probably envision a demure and proper creature of great beauty. Most movie princesses can be found in a billowing gown racing from a ball, locked in a tower or lying asleep awaiting their true love’s kiss. These “damsels in distress,” as they’re often portrayed to be, are modern ladies who could give any liberated gal a run for her money. Like most strong, confident women, they wield an intangible power over the men in their lives. Hell, I’ll say it: “They’ve got the boys whipped.”

Take Ariel. She had Daddy, king of the sea, wrapped around her little finger. She even finagled him into letting her have legs. In the Mermaid world, that’s not like asking for the car keys. Her male friends, Flounder and Sebastian, were easily coerced into accompanying her on forbidden adventures. Prince Eric was so mesmerized by her voice, he fell head over heels upon hearing it.

Next we have Snow White. She may have done the cooking and cleaning, but those Dwarves kowtowed to her every whim. When they found her in a deep, eternal slumber, they were heartbroken. Please, not one of these little fellas would have let the Prince kiss her if he thought he had a chance…not even Grumpy.

Pocahontas was another Daddy’s girl. She was bold, daring and open to change. Her unique understanding of people and spirits fascinated Capt. John Smith, who originally thought of her as a savage. Like many young lovers, they snuck away to meet on secret rendezvous, where she taught John to see the world in a new light. She may have been the first Native American princess to convey the politically charged sentiment, “Why can’t we all just get along?”

And finally we have Princess Jasmine, the only princess to wear actual pants. She escaped the castle, averted the royal guard, and told Aladdin to go take a flying leap…I mean a flying carpet ride. She always had daddy’s ear, well, when he wasn’t in a trance. I also feel that any woman who keeps a tiger as a pet, should be taken very seriously.

With their charisma, brains, and fearlessness these bold young women make a powerful statement: You can lock them up in towers, cast spells on them, or make them scrub floors, but as everyone knows, you can’t keep a good princess down.

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