Do guys secretly want us to change them?

Mr. Answer Man says: Do guys secretly want to be changed? No. Do we want to please you? Absolutely. And here's where the confusion lies. In our zeal to please the women we love, especially at the beginning of the relationship, it might seem that we are amenable to any and all changes you might want to make. Do not be fooled. If you take this as license to start creating your own man, rest assured you'll end up with a resentful Frankenstein's monster. Besides, do you really want your man to be a living Ken doll? Mr. Answer Man thinks not.

Another question begs to be asked: Will we be changed by you? Count on it. Compare any man in his 40s to the way he was in his 20s, and you'll find someone with increased confidence, caring, patience, thoughtfulness -- in short, a much better person. Why? Relationships are the antidote to selfishness. The process of two people bumping into each other's emotional blind spots over the years creates two much better people. And here's the really good news: The less you think about changing the other, the better the process works.

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