Do I have to attend the bridal shower if I'm not in the wedding party?

Dear Wedding Women:

I have a friend who is getting married in May. She mentioned that she'll be having a bridal shower at some point. The thing is, she lives almost four hours away from me. I am very much looking forward to attending the wedding, but I was wondering if it would be okay to just send a gift and card for the shower by mail since she lives kind of far away. (By the way, I'm not one of the bridesmaids.) Do you think that would be rude?



Dear Kara28:

Don't worry, you are not obliged to attend your friend's bridal shower. Although we're sure your friend would love to have you there, she is sure to understand the reason you cannot attend; four hours is a lot to travel to attend a shower. Being there for her wedding will be special enough. Besides, not even bridesmaids are obliged to attend a shower, if they have a good reason for not being there, such as living far away. However, if you feel a strong urge to go to your friend's shower, perhaps you can schedule some other activities to extend your stay and make the long trip more worthwhile.

The Wedding Women

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