Photo Credit: courtesy of Paramount Pictures and Marvel
WANTED: Female Action Figures
Location: America, with possible travel throughout the universe.
Requirements: At least five years experience fighting crime; ability to leap tall buildings and hurtle vehicles through the air; familiar with X-ray vision, invisibility, Microsoft Word and PowerPoint; determination and punctuality a plus. Please do not respond if you lack a tight behind or your rack is smaller than a full C cup.
Pay: Full salary will be paid in human male drool and teen bedroom posters; potential for year-end bonus in the form of a hypersexualized doll or cartoon crafted in your likeness.
In the just-released Ironman 2, Scarlett Johansson plays the Black Widow. In the two main movie posters promoting her role, one focused almost entirely on her butt; the other on her chest. The Black Widow is a spy. Does one need gargantuan boobs and a teeny waist to be an effective spy? It seems so.
Not like I’m surprised. A supernatural body seems to be the main job requirement for obtaining work as a female superhero** these days. Consider:
Angelina Jolie in Lara Croft: Tomb Raider
Halle Berry in Catwoman
Jennifer Garner in Elektra
Jessica Alba in Fantastic Four
Lynda Carter in Wonder Woman
I IMDB’d Lara Croft: Tomb Raider and clicked on “Parents’ Guide.” Here’s what it says:
Sex & Nudity
In the opening scene, Lara wear very tight and very short shorts, along with a form-fitting top that shows off her accentuated and large breasts beneath it. During that, the soundtrack that plays along with the action scene includes the sound of a woman's sensuous moan (although nothing sexual is occurring in the scene). Just after the opening sequence, Lara takes an extended hot shower/bath, and then is shown in a short towel. After a brief exchange of words with her butler she drops the towel and breast can be seen from the side. (no nipple)
The camera focuses much on her breasts.
A man gets out of the shower. He walks around completely naked but nothing is shown, his manhood is blocked by something that happens to be there.
So…movie producers felt the best way to introduce the death-defying female Indiana Jones was to totally expose and exploit her, yet the man’s privates are conveniently obscured. Shocking.
Now, I understand many male superheroes sport skintight unitards, revealing underwear and permanently erect nipples. This doesn’t excuse the fact that female action heroes are portrayed as sex bombs. Rather, it simply reinforces the notion that the public idolizes physical perfection. But male superheroes tend to sport outfits that highlight their strength –- visible six packs, bulging pecs, rockhard quads. Batman and Superman are all about strength and physical prowess, whereas the women are dressed to highlight mind-bending curves. (Some action heroines are portrayed as uber-buff specimens [Demi Moore in GI Jane; Linda Hamilton in Terminator] but they’re few and far between, and almost always considered “mannish.”)
I understand one needs to be in shape to scale skyscrapers or catch full-grown adults as they plummet towards the earth and fly them to safety. But please, you don’t need DDs to save people, unless you’re SuperBreastfeeder, the Formula Avenger.
**I understand some fans reject the notion of calling all action-packing women in costumes “superheroes,” because they consider someone to be a superhero only if they are born with their inherent powers. But for the sake of brevity, I’ll be calling them both superheroes as well as female action heroes.
What do you think of female action heroes? Chime in below.