If your mother has any involvement in planning your wedding, chances are you have contemplated ending your relationship with her at least once since your engagement.
In addition to her negative comments and criticisms, there is the threat that she might withdraw all financial contributions if she doesn’t have her way. Flashback: it’s like being sixteen and living at home all over again.
Why is she trying to run things?
Denise McGregor, an expert in mother-daughter relations and author of Mama Drama, explains the problem this way: “Your mother has been planning your wedding since the day you were born. It's part of ‘the good life’ she wants for you. She doesn't just want a wedding -- she wants the perfect wedding for you and nothing less than ‘storybook’ will do.” Then why does she make you feel more like the poor maid stepsister when you are supposed to feel like the princess Cinderella?
Your mother affects you like no one else. For instance, your fiance can hate your floral arrangement choice, your dad can complain about the cost of your dress, but if your mother makes one negative comment about a decision you make, you are in tears. Take these three stories from iVillage members:
Kitty_bean says, “We are having a small wedding. The problem is that my mom keeps pointing out the negatives. My parents are the only ones able to make my wedding and my mother has to ask ‘Don't you think you are hurting your relatives' feelings?’”