Don't want to scare off my new boyfriend

ON Jan 1, 1999 at 12:00PM

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I have a wedding to go to in a couple of weeks, and I would like to invite this guy I started dating. We met online and have been corresponding for about a month by email and phone. We also met in person and have gone out on two great dates so far. I am wondering whether it is too soon to ask him to accompany me to the wedding. By the way, my family will be at the wedding. I like this guy and think it would be really fun to go with him, but I don't want to scare him off. What do you suggest? --iVillager lesli7272

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ABOUT THE EXPERT

Sherry Amatenstein

Sherry is the author of The Q&A Dating Book and Love Lessons from Bad Breakups. She has taught dating seminars, appeared as an expert... Read more

Dear Lesli:

Early on in a relationship there are several things you should not say or do unless your aim is to get the guy to tuck his tail between his legs and run (a.k.a., dump you). The following are in no particular order. Don't:

  • Ask him for a commitment.
  • Tell him you love him.
  • Admit you cheated on your last boyfriend.
  • Invite him to meet your parents or celebrate a wedding.

The first three items are pretty obvious. If they're not, I'm afraid you may need a crash course in Dating 101. Although the fourth item is a much less serious "offense," I nonetheless strongly encourage, urge, okay, beg you to go solo to the nuptial celebrations.

You're just getting to know this guy and vice versa. Keep things casual, light and non-demanding. At this stage, you are both looking for reasons to either press forward or hit the delete key. Your inviting him to a function that will be rife with relatives and romantic icons might cause him to panic and impulsively get rid of the cause of his temporary fears -- namely, you.

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