The Dos and Don'ts of Dirty Talk

Tracey Cox walks you through the process

So go on, be brave! And be the one to suggest it. Here's how:

  • Start with sexy texts or emails. It's often less embarrassing to write something down than it is to say it straight to someone's face—leven better if you're not around when they read it! Start small. Send a short text saying, “How good was our sex last night? I want more!” Slip a sexy note into his wallet or briefcase saying, “I can't stop thinking about having sex with you. I might have to take matters into my own hands tonight because you won't be around.”
  • Suggest it in bed. Increase the intensity of your moans and groans generally, then describe what's happening: “I'm watching you disappear inside me and that is so sexy.” If you can hold eye contact as you're describing it, you get extra points. Follow this by whispering, “Tell me what you'd really like to do to me” in his ear. If he looks horrified, give a little giggle to lighten things up.
  • Timing is everything. Sometimes, it's ultra-sexy to talk dirty somewhere very public. He may consider it to be teasing if you whisper something wicked into his ear when you're on the subway, surrounded by bored commuters—but he's unlikely to complain! However, if it's the first time you've ever talked dirty to each other, and you're unsure of a reaction, wait until you're well into a sex session, with both of you hovering on the edge of orgasm. Your bodies are flooded with sex hormones, and he'll be far more likely to let loose.
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