Dr. Ruth Westheimer, Sex Therapist for Couples on iVillage

I am a divorced mother of two small children. I have a loving and passionate relationship with my boyfriend, but it's hard for us to find the time for lovemaking. It seems we have five minutes here and there, and it's really not satisfying all the time. Any suggestions on making the most of a quickie?


Ruth Westheimer

The original sexpert, Dr. Ruth has given advice for more than 20 years. She's hosted television shows including Sexually Speaking with Dr.... Read more

Quickies can be great, but you must also find the time to make love. The question is not whether you can do it, but rather whether you make it a priority. For example, decide that making love is more important than sleep, and then some nights set your alarm for an hour earlier and make love in the morning. You won't be tired, and the kids should still be asleep. If you're afraid the kids might wake up, then set it for 2am.

The other thing you should try to do is use babysitters. If your budget permits, hire one and go to a motel. If it doesn't, use grandparents and other relatives. If none are available, find neighbors with young children, who are probably going through the same thing you are, and swap babysitting.

So let me repeat myself -- make it a priority and do whatever it takes so that you can enjoy each other beyond the occasional quickie.

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