Dream Decoded: "My dead brother appeared at my wedding."

Astrology.com dream analyst Cathy Pagano interprets

I am the queen of weird dreams lately. Last night I had a dream about this helicopter/plane hybrid crashing. I was standing in the doorway of a house, watching it swirl over a field, and the loops it was making in the sky came closer and closer to the ground. It eventually crashed, but everything was okay. A week later I had a wedding nightmare. We were at the rehearsal and my stepdad was there and he played his part, walking me down the aisle. But then rumors started about my father (with whom I have a very strained relationship) showing up at the wedding. The next day, the wedding day, my brother, W., shows up; he’s been deceased for over a year now. Then my father is there, wearing a suit and not a tux and wanting to walk me down the aisle. Next I see W. standing at the top of the street we grew up on and I go running for him… but then my father speaks up about wanting to walk me down the aisle. I tell my father I don’t want him to, and that I want to go talk to W. He tells me that if he doesn’t walk me down the aisle, then W. is gone, and my brother starts to fade away and I can’t run to him fast enough. -- cl-kdoerpholz

Cathy's interpretation:

“Weird” is an interesting word. Usually we use it to denote things in our lives that are out of the ordinary. Does it seem as if your life is getting strange? Do you feel as if you no longer have control over your life? Marriage can do that to you, because you’re navigating in new waters. Remember, sometimes things just get weird!

The helicopter in your first dream might symbolize your fantasies and expectations. It seems as if you don’t know where you’re going or what to expect. All your expectations have crashed, and yet you’re still all right. It shows your strength of character.

The next dream shows you the problem. A father “gives the bride away” to the husband to protect and guide. It’s a mark of ownership. But we no longer live with such a patriarchal mind-set. Your father’s appearance at the wedding symbolizes that this negative father complex might be popping up in the marriage and that you’re projecting it onto your new husband. Something happened when you got married, causing your negative father complex to show up. When we wed, we often revert to our experience of marriage -- our parents’ marriage. Even when we want to be married in a better and different way, our unconscious mind has learned certain behavior patterns that our conscious ego might not be aware of. We just fall into it and suddenly we feel like our parents, and we project our parents onto our partners.

The negative father complex (illustrated by your father wearing inappropriate attire) reflects the feeling that you’ll never make the grade, that you’re not good enough, that you don’t know how to do it. And of course, that’s true. Who trained you to be a good wife and partner? Did you take lessons, or did you learn from seeing other people who are married? The father is supposed to protect and guide us into the world. And if we don’t have that solid guidance in our life, we become insecure and fearful. Are you having trouble adjusting to being married? Is there some issue that you feel you can’t resolve?

Then there’s your brother, W. What was your relationship like with him? Did he balance what you felt about your dad? The fact that your father says W. will disappear unless you do what he (your father) wants might indicate that there’s a connection between your brother and your father that you need to understand. Your “real” dad only evokes negative images for you. You have to look at those images and feelings and see if your husband is really acting like your father, or if you’re misinterpreting what he’s doing. Or, even more important, are you behaving like your dad?

This dream wants to show you that you don’t need to revert to old beliefs and habits about love, marriage and your role as a wife. Stop projecting old hurts and sorrows onto your husband and work to see him for himself—not through the distorted lens of your father. I hope this helps you work to build a strong and secure marriage. Good luck and sweet dreams!

Visit Cathy Pagano at astrology.com.

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What's the weirdest dream you ever had? Chime in below!

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