'DWTS': Here's the Situation

Does anyone on the new 'Dancing' cast NOT have body image issues?

Last night, ABC announced the cast lineup of the new season of Dancing With the Stars. Joining Florence Henderson, Bristol Palin and Michael Bolton and is the owner of America’s most famous six-pack, Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino.

For those of you who actually have lives and aren’t parked in front of the TV every Thursday night, Sorrentino shot to fame last year on MTV’s Jersey Shore. He’s an obnoxious, self-absorbed, misogynistic Italian-American who spends his days lifting weights, tanning and pressing his Ed Hardy shirts, with a weekly haircut thrown in for good measure. He refers to unattractive girls as “Grenades,” “Landmines” or “Hippopotamuses,” and has a penchant for hair gel and underwater hot tub groping.

Oh, and he’s made millions of dollars off of his 12-pack, hard-bodied persona, aka “The Situation.” Not an hour goes by where he doesn’t lift up his shirt to reveal said muscles, often to “oohs” and “ahs” from camera-hungry groupies. Much like an insecure young woman who, unsure of what she truly has to offer on an intellectual level, feels compelled to show more skin to win the affection of the opposite sex, The Sitch is forever parading his boytoy bod in a search for affirmation.

But wait! He’s not the only one on the new DWTS cast with body image issues. Check it out:

Jennifer Grey

Everyone’s favorite Baby caught a huge amount of flak for a nose job she received in the early 90s that rendered her nearly unrecognizable. Of the experience, she has said, "I went in the operating room a celebrity -- and came out anonymous. It was like being in a witness protection program or being invisible." Grey succumbed to pressure to modify her looks into something more mainstream, but in the process, she lost the physical spark we all cherished.

Audrina Patridge

It was her Hills costar, Heidi Montag, who landed on the cover of magazines with her outlandish plastic surgeries, but Patridge looks like she got a little tune-up herself between seasons.  Though she’s denied augmentation, a “friend” told US Weekly that Patridge went under the knife to get a much-needed confidence boost and now "she think she has a banging body." Heidi’s ex Spencer Pratt apparently disagrees, once Tweet-attacking Audrina: "So glad my wife gets her surgery in bev hills and not where Jwow and audrina go. We love american doctors! Audrina - Don't hate because your nasty Tijuana plastic surgery got you no press... and my wife is #1 story on people - 5 days in a row! Who elected you to gage (sic) cool?"

David Hasselhoff

I ask you, does a man who poses in this have body image issues? The Hoff has spent decades surrounded by scarlet one piece-clad, Barbie Doll-bodied women like Pam Anderson; former co-star Nicole Eggert recent made headlines for daring to gain weight.  His daughter, Haley Hasselhoff, is a plus-size model currently starring on ABC Family’s HUGE, which follows seven teens attending a weight-loss camp; she plays the hottest girl at fat camp.

Margaret Cho

The comedienne currently stars on Drop Dead Diva, a show about a ditzy aspiring model who is killed in a car accident but reincarnated as a whipsmart and overweight lawyer in search of the meaning of inner beauty. But her relationship with weight issues dates back much further: Cho has spoken out about the devastating anorexia and bulimia she developed in response to the cultural messages she said she, as an Asian-American, receiving (i.e. To be “small, petite and skinny.”)

Her breakthrough came after she saw her first burlesque show: “I was so amazed when I saw the performance. There were women with all different body types, ages, races, and you could tell they were so happy and comfort able with their bodies," she has said.  “I was crying when I saw it, it really cured me.”

Love this? Read these:
-Dancing with the Stars Season 11 Cast Announced
-What Snooki Taught Me About Body Image
-Nikki Blonsky's Going to Be a Huge Hit
-Baywatch: Schadenfreude Edition

 

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