Stop Fighting in 30 days

Week 2: Eliminate Secret Warfare

Do you engage in Secret Warfare?
Take the test and find out.

Take this test and find out the Secret Warfare behavior you use. Choose all the responses that apply.

Your husband was recently promoted to head of his department. Soon after, he developed a strange sexual disorder, which you call "Premature Intercourse." He rushes into sex, finishes the "job" quickly (you call him the "three-minute manager" behind his back) and sinks into a deep sleep. At first, you drenched your pillow with tears, hoping he would hear your sobs over his snores (yeah, right!). Then for months you waited patiently for some decent (or rather some indecent) foreplay. Lately, you've lost interest in sex and avoid his advances altogether.

Early Sunday morning you awaken to the roar of the vacuum (he never does housework, so he has your attention). You stagger to the kitchen, where you now find him feverishly drying dishes -- a sure sign that his arousal has reached atomic proportions. If he thinks he's going to bribe you into sex, he's got another thing coming. What do you do?

1. You don't say anything about it, and simply deny him sex again that night.
Secret Warfare Fight Trap: Withholding

2. You wait until later and then whine, nag and complain -- in general -- about how mistreated you feel.
Secret Warfare Fight Trap: The Three Scrooges (Nagging, Whining and Complaining)

3. You cry and tell him that you were happier when you were single.
Secret Warfare Fight Trap: Guilt Tripping

4. You don't talk to him all day.
Secret Warfare Fight Trap: Silent Treatment

5. When you are out with friends, you drop comments about his flimsy foreplay.
Secret Warfare Fight Trap: Indirect Digs

6. You burn his dinner three nights in a row and pretend that it's an accident.
Secret Warfare Fight Trap: Sabotage

7. You agree to take his shirts to the cleaners and then don't do it, leaving him with nothing to wear to work.
Secret Warfare Fight Trap: Paybacks

8. When you both are visiting his folks, with whom you are close, you tell his mother about your lousy sex life, hoping that she'll take your side.
Secret Warfare Fight Trap: Recruiting Allies

9. You go on strike and stop cooking, cleaning and doing the housework.
Secret Warfare Fight Trap: Torture

10. When you and your mate are in the middle of dinner at your neighbor's house, and you know he's cornered, you initiate a discussion about your sex life.
Secret Warfare Fight Trap: Ambush

11. You tell him that if he becomes more responsive to you, you will perform his favorite sex act.
Secret Warfare Fight Trap: Bribing, Manipulating

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