The End of Infidelity: How to Break Up with a Married Man

I am seeing a married man whose wife lives across the country. I don't consider our relationship serious -- I am seeing him only to fulfill my needs at this time. However, he seems to be getting more and more attached to me. It bothers me that he continues to see me even though he has a wife he claims to love. I want to end our relationship, but I don't know how to go about telling him that his time is up. To be completely honest, I am still very much in love with someone else who means the world to me -- he's just not around right now. --iVillager jena1974


Sherry Amatenstein

Sherry is the author of The Q&A Dating Book and Love Lessons from Bad Breakups. She has taught dating seminars, appeared as an expert... Read more

Dear Jena:

So you can't figure out how to end your fling with a married man? It's very simple. Tell him something along the lines of, "You know, I just realized something -- you're married and it's not to me. I realized something else -- I'm not in love with you. And you're supposed to be in love with your wife!" You can also remind him that the two of you don't even have the excuse of harboring a once-in-a-lifetime grand passion for each other. So why break a commandment for something that's not only illicit, but cheap, shoddy and mutually meaningless? Say to him, "I suggest we stop, regroup and put our respective houses in order." If he gives you a hard time about ending your affair, fill him in on the fact you're only with him to fill the void left because the guy you love isn't around right now (this is pretty harsh, so hold off on sharing this information unless he forces you to do so).

The above conversation should be the last one you have with him. Just because you can't be with the one you love doesn't mean you have the right to be with someone else's love.