Facebook: The Movie. Hollywood: The Desperate

When I heard about Facebook: The Movie, two thoughts came to mind: 1) Crap! Hollywood is now making remakes of websites?!! and 2) Crap! It's going to be one of those interactive movies like Mr. Payback. I'm going to go see Facebook: The Movie, and at the theater Hasbro will sue me, weirdos will try to befriend me, my identity will be stolen and the seat is going to try to SuperPoke me. Then I learned here that Facebook: The Movie is about the creation of the site, not the site itself. There's a Facebook group devoted to Aaron Sorkin's upcoming movie. I joined it, making it the third group I belong to on the site I joined solely because I was in grad school. Since they didn't ask my help in casting, I won't bother with FBTM. But here are some suggestions for other filmmakers thinking about making a movie about a website.

The MySpace Movie: 40-year old Dakota Fanning (well she acts like she's 40, dammit!) stars as a horny little girl who gets wrapped up in the MySpace trend sweeping the nation. Michael Cera is the next-door neighbor who has several adventures with her in cyberspace. The Jonas Brothers play some neighborhood kids who post their songs online. Also starring Mark Foley, Michael Jackson, the ghost of Jerry Lee Lewis, Chuck Berry, R. Kelly and Chris Hansen from Dateline NBC. Music by Gary Glitter and Pete Townshend.

IMDb the Movie: Emma Thompson makes a movie within the movie about IMDb. As soon as it's projected the first time, the mere meta nature of a movie about a database of movies causes a rip in the space-time continuum. It's up to Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck to close it up with duct tape. Written by somebody who failed physics.

Continue reading this entry on The Moviefile.

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