5 Truly Weird Things You Can Buy on Fiverr.com

Translate 1,000 words into Mandarin? Celtic tarot reading? These services and more are just five bucks at Fiverr.com

As a working mom -- between dishes and deadlines and carpools and conference calls -- I have very little free time. And yet somehow I manage to update my Facebook status and scan my Twitter feed and troll Pinterest for recipes I'll never make with appalling regularity. Now it seems I have to make room in my already overbooked schedule for a new (to me) website: Fiverr.com.

The premise is brilliant: Picture a categorized list of all sorts of totally random and sometimes even useful things you can buy, get or do for five measly bucks. Never a penny more or a nickel less; everything on Fiverr costs exactly a single Lincoln. (Well, there are optional extras. Like if you want the guy who'll jump around in a chicken suit to also make chicken noises or hold a sign, you're going to have to pony up a little more.)

Need a 1,000 word article translated into Mandarin Chinese? No problem; that'll be five bucks. Want a new logo or business card designed? Drop a five-spot and you're good to go. Looking for a stranger to send your best friend a video claiming he's slept with her mother? For the clearly reasonable price of five hundred pennies, there's a whack-job out there ready to do your bidding. Celtic cross tarot readings, professional book cover design, your name written in fruit or your message on a hotdog; recipes, running advice, "monster biceps workouts,"; original jingles, professional voiceovers, your very own personalized anime character -- you can have it all at Fiverr! For five bucks!

I am not mocking, I swear. Alongside the "I'll make my dog pray for you" offers, there are endless useful services and cute/fun products here. Each one has stats on how many people have bought it, what the satisfaction stats are, and when the offer expires, so you know (as well as you can) exactly what you're getting. Here are some of my favorites:

I will balance your Chakras with Distance Healing Reiki One hour session.
This fiverr is a master reiki practitioner with 22 years experience. Never mind why she's doing this for $5/hour. Maybe she's really nice! Check out the reviews. I already bought mine. 

I will help you understand your child's behavior. 
Five dollars? Really? Because I have one who likes to poke my boobs while saying the made-up word flerp. I'd pay eleventy billion times that for some insight.  

I will choreograph any dance FOR FIVE DOLLARS. 
Hello, brides-to-be? You just saved two grand on Arthur Murray. You're welcome. 

I will hand knit a Podling raccoon for you. 
I have no idea what a podling is, but this thing is stinking cute. It has to take this gal hours to knit this. Give her your five bucks! I'm just saying.

I will juggle three fire torches while saying anything you would like. 
I super-love my husband and have no intention of ever leaving him. But if I did, this would be the way I'd do it. (This dude has a 100 percent satisfaction rating, you guys! I don't see how you can go wrong.)

High fiverr, right?

Jenna McCarthy
is an internationally published writer, TED speaker and the author of five books including If It Was Easy They'd Call the Whole Damn Thing a Honeymoon: Living with and Loving the TV-Addicted, Sex-Obsessed, Not-so-handy Man You Married (Berkley Books, 2011). Find her at JennaMcCarthy.com.

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