You Engage with Other People
A guy absolutely wants to know that you'll get along with his friends and his mother. Like, a couple of months from now. But all he cares about right now is that you get along with him. When we were asking our friends and customers what could turn them off a woman, the same answer came up again and again: talking to other guys around them. As one pointed out, "Even if I understand in the back of my head that she's doing it to impress me that other guys think she's witty and sexy, all I can think is, 'Fine. Then let one of the other guys have her.'" Obviously, this isn't to say that you shouldn't be polite and nice to the bartender (of course), or the guy's friends if he's out with them and introducing you. But you should monitor your tone so that he understands that the way you're acting with him is special and different from the way you act with men in general. Remember, for that moment, he wants to believe that he's the only one in the room for you.
We beg you to remember the facts of life: Women bond by going out and talking about every detail of their lives. Men bond by going to a football game and talking about nothing. Do not confuse them, please! Even three martinis in, men will eye the nearest exit if you start to talk about trouble in your life. You think you're sharing an intimate moment; he sees a long, potholed road ahead if he doesn't kick the taco stand and kick it fast. "As soon as a woman starts talking about what's going wrong in her life, I automatically lose interest," one friend says. "I'd like to hear about those things maybe on date four or five, when we're really getting into the nitty-gritty of knowing each other. But isn't she supposed to be trying to impress me when we first meet? I know I'm sure as hell trying to impress her, and I'd like the same treatment back."