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If all you’ve been doing are squats and crunches to tone up your flabby physique before summer, you’ve been neglecting a very important area: your vagina.
Tatyana Kozhevnikova, a Russian gymnast and mom, can lift nearly 31 pounds with her crotch muscles, earning her the unofficial title of World’s Strongest Vagina. (She even made it into the Guinness Book of World Records).
If you happen to harbor secret fantasies about hoisting things off the ground with your vagina, Kozhevnikova wants you to know this: She was not born with a super-ripped box. It was a long road to where she is now. Hey, we’ve all got to have dreams. Her impetus for this new career path was motherhood. After giving birth, she was left with a lifeless and floppy vajayjay, so she decided to take matters into her own…um, hands. Clearly, Kegels weren’t cutting it for her.
And now anyone with a slackened and out-of-shape vagina can get just as fit as Kozhevnikova with her patented workout called Intimate Gymnastics. The name of the workout sounds so much more fun than the reality of it -- lifting a kettlebell with your pelvic floor muscles. If my ovaries did cartwheels, or my vagina a backbend, maybe I’d give it a whirl.
At this point, you’re probably wondering just how one lifts weights with an organ that has no opposable thumbs. No, she doesn’t vacuum it up into the abyss, but good guess. Kozhevnikova inserts a wooden egg into her vagina (with a condom -- safety first!) that she grips Kegel-style. The egg has a rope that attaches to the weight, and then she does a few reps. (If you’re having a hard time envisioning the proper lifting form, not to worry, we’ve got video footage of the whole thing! But we do not recommend that you try this at home).
Though we are happy that Kozhevnikova has achieved her lifelong dream of having the fittest vagina on the planet, we think it’s safe to say this isn’t a workout that will catch on anytime soon.