Photo Credit: Michael Kovac/Getty Images for City of Hope
Miley Cyrus says her wedding is so not a big deal -- which is funny, considering she can't stop talking about it! The singer, who became engaged to Liam Hemsworth last summer, insists that she's planning to keep things simple.
"C'mon, I can't even get coffee without a million paparazzi following me, so I don't know why anyone thinks I'm going to have this huge, extravagant wedding," she told Cosmopolitan. "That is so not who I am."
A big wedding, Miley said, becomes "a target for people to ruin;" therefore, her guest list will only contain "people who we'd take bullets for." (Now there's a criteria we've never seen in a wedding magazine.)
It's hard to reconcile Miley's desire for a small wedding with her very big, very public personality. Therefore, here is our wish list for the Miley-Liam wedding we'd like to see.
1. Katy Perry as the maid of honor. Because Miley loves her. Ideally, we'd like to see an all-pop-star bridal party (put aside your differences, Miley and Taylor Swift!) -- but we'll settle for any of her famous friends as bridesmaids; maybe Kelly Osbourne and Khloe Kardashian Odom?
2. A cowboy-punk theme. Since Miley can't seem to decide if she's a little bit country or a little bit rock n' roll, the wedding should reflect her identity crisis. The groomsmen could wear cowboy boots and spiked collars. The hired musicians could be Billy Idol and Rascal Flatts (sharing a stage, obviously). The reception could be held in a rustic barn, outfitted with strobe lights and wall-to-wall speakers. Just for fun, there could be a dartboard in the corner with a picture of Hannah Montana.
3. Three words: ring bearer puppy. Okay, three more words: doggy flower girl. Let's get Miley's beloved pets in on the action!
4. Lots of Hemsworths. Liam and his brother Chris Hemsworth are two of the most beautiful men on the planet -- so we're guessing there might be some other family members (cousins, perhaps?) who also inherited those sexy Australian genes. Why not make Liam's side of the bridal party an all-Hemsworth, all-shirtless line-up?
5. A wedding gown with cutouts, leather embellishments, and/or a mermaid tail. Given Miley's fashion choices lately, this one actually seems likely. (At the very least, her bridal ensemble is bound to feature a crop top!)
While we're busy planning Miley's wedding for her, we can't shake the nagging feeling that maybe she's already gotten hitched. She keeps referring to Hemsworth as her "hubby," and in the Cosmo interview, she declares "I'm so happy I'm married."
However, we now have an official denial from Liam's camp, who told People that the young couple is "definitely NOT married." Excellent: more time to train the dog not to eat the ring!