Question for the ladies

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2010
Question for the ladies
5
Mon, 04-26-2010 - 5:31pm

I have been dating a very petite, svelte woman. She's 5'-3", 95 lbs., and amazingly manages to have curves in just the right places. She is very very nice. She works extremely hard and to her, social occasions are generally time to blow off steam and have fun.

Here's my question. Friday night, I took her to a large arts benefit that is attended by all the socialites and mavens in our community. I was dressed super conservatively in a coat and tie, and just being my slightly nerdy self. She was dressed *extremely* hot -- I wouldn't say slutty, but just bringing it. She had on the Christian Louboutin sandals that I'd given her, which have insanely high heels, a short form-fitting dress, and a full-on pro hair and makeup job.

Here's the thing. To me, she looked great. I was glad to have such a hot babe on my arm. She was way, way dialed up on the hotness scale, but she enjoys doing that and did it for that reason.

But today all these indirect comments came back to me, to the effect that the socialites and doyennes highly disapproved. "What street corner did he find her on???" I mean, these are all 40- and 50-something women who are pretty cool people so I respect their opinion. But am also very hurt by it.

Here's my question: to you, what's the line between appropriate and inappropriate? Where does elegant end and slutty begin? Or should I just ignore their comments and let the gf heed her own counsel?

Avatar for sweetviolets
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Fri, 04-30-2010 - 6:07pm

It's okay to be mindful of the movers and shakers, but you did say it was an arts event, not a wedding or a funeral.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2010
Thu, 04-29-2010 - 11:37am

Many thanks for all of your input! I figured if I, who knew little to nothing about iVillage, logged on and found the right forum, I'd get a straight answer.

I think it's a free country and she should be able to wear what she wants.

Realistically, I would say it was a borderline slutty outfit. But it wasn't like she was trying to turn on anyone except me. It was an all-adult event and a funky arts benefit, so I can't see why anyone would have the right to be offended.

It seems to me that it's not her fault that she is very petite and attractive, and that most of the catty comments seem to have emanated from much less shapely older women who couldn't have put such an outfit together even if they'd wanted to. I take seriously the people in my social circle in this town, it is an upscale and close-knit community -- but I just DO NOT LIKE the mean mavens and doyennes sometimes!!!

Edited 4/29/2010 11:53 am ET by tallhealthyguy2010




Edited 4/29/2010 12:28 pm ET by tallhealthyguy2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 04-27-2010 - 8:32pm

I have to say I agree with Brenda and sweetviolets, I hear loud "meows" regardless of the age of your lady friend.


Avatar for sweetviolets
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Tue, 04-27-2010 - 4:44pm

I'm less tactful than Brenda; I heard a big, loud, jealous, catty MEOW behind those comments.

Avatar for cmbren
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2000
Tue, 04-27-2010 - 1:05pm

Hi and welcome to the board! It really stinks that anyone would make those kinds of comments based solely on the way another is dressed, but it happens. I'm ashamed to admit it, but some