The Broken Heart Makeover

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
The Broken Heart Makeover
26
Thu, 11-20-2003 - 4:33pm
Hi, I've never been in this area before, but it caught my eye today. Earlier this week I found out that my boyfriend of five months has been cheating. He hasn't even called to apologize either. I'm devastated. I really loved him a lot. Why is it that when we break up with boyfriends, husbands, whatever, we feel the need to change ourselves physically? Well, I'm feeling that right now. I have an appointment to check out a gym near my house tonight. I'm not thinking of cutting my hair. I guess what I'm wondering is . . . have any of you had similar experiences? What did you do? Where you happy you did it?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 11-20-2003 - 8:55pm

Hi Kylasmom22! Welcome to the board!


 

 

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2003
Thu, 11-27-2003 - 9:37am
Hey Kylasmom22! I know you're hurting right now, but I say go for it!! I recently broke it off (after 14 years) when I found out my man cheated on me. I was devastated to say the least, but after the numbness wore off I began to see the good in all of this. After all, if he's behaving like that, what the **** to I want with him?????

I got my hair cut and styled for the first time in about 10 years (it was easier to just let it go while I was with him), started working out (he used to make fun of me when I exercised, so I stopped), and generally started taking all the time I used to spend trying to make him happy and directed it toward myself. It has totally paid off. I recently went to an event and he was there -- I'd gone from a size 14 to a size 5, had a beautiful new hair cut, my skin looked good and so did I. I received all kinds of attention from other men at this event and my self-esteem was soaring. He didn't approach me during the event, but called me later and begged me to take him back. Needless to say, I told him that wasn't possible. I'd never realized just how much time, effort and self-esteem it took to "take care" of him, so much so that I never took care of myself. I let him know I'd never go back to that ever again and how funny it was that he didn't want me or want to help me when I was down, but now that I'm up, here he is.

Long story short, it's YOUR life and only you can make yourself truly happy so go for it. Shed all the old, bad stuff and step out of your cocoon and fly.

Best of luck to you!

DucatiMonsterGirl (Deb)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2003
Thu, 11-27-2003 - 10:04am
Hi. I can symphathize with you. Whatever you do don't cut or color your hair drasticly you'll still feel the same and if your unhappy it can add to your pain. Try buying a new outfit in a color you usually wouldn't wear. I went to sephora and had a free makeover( usually they get you to buy something). They have the best make up artists. You leave feeling great. I went through the same thing. My husband cheated with my sister. Take care of yourself. I'm here for you! Theresa C.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2003
Thu, 11-27-2003 - 11:49am
Hi there!! Makeovers are a wonderful thing after getting your heart broken, it reminds you that the most important person is YOU. After being in an emotionally abuse relationship for three years, I finally started going for walks with my dog and doing "me things" again. I splurged on myself one day and got a haircut that I always wanted (that he always said he would hate if I got), got a facial and a massage, and then took myself to the mall for a makeover. I felt 1000% better that day, and kept that feeling with me. Everyone should do such a thing! ;) Best of luck!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2003
Thu, 11-27-2003 - 12:03pm
I truely underestand what you are saying. My fiance just last night called me and told me that he wanted to come by and pick up his clothes, keys, and the credit card he got for me today cause we were done. All last night I cried but this morning I woke up and wanted two things: 1. to run away for few days alone and just think. and 2. to totally remake myself. Hair, makeup, diet, clothes everything.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2003
Thu, 11-27-2003 - 12:57pm
I can't even begin to imagine your devastation. I'm so sorry that you are going through this experience. I had a boyfriend once whom I suspected had another girlfriend. It was enough to make me change my hair, makeup, and my career goals. Really, it just made me a stronger person with more resolve to make it in this big wide world. Change whatever you want to. It's your life!! Good luck and feel free to email me anytime (tanda123@yahoo.com). HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2003
Thu, 11-27-2003 - 12:58pm
Throw a makeover party with your girlfriends...make each other over, manicures, pedicures, and to top it all of, a chick flick complete with popcorn and ice cream. There is NOTHING better than a night with the girls to help you through this really tough time, plus you have your friends around to keep you from doing anything too strange. lol.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2003
Thu, 11-27-2003 - 1:40pm
A broken heart is a killer... I have been through more broken hearts than I care to tell. But, I have made it through each one of them and I am stronger for it. How did I get through it? I did what made ME happy and learned to be my own best friend. You can't expect someone else to love you if you don't love yourself and it is hard to love yourself with a broken heart. Just knowing that the world will continue to spin and you will have a better day tomorrow helps! Call your girlfriends and have a "girls night" out or spend time with family. Whatever makes you happy!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2003
Thu, 11-27-2003 - 2:01pm
I do know what you are going through, the same situation happened to me on our 6th month anniversary. He went back with his ex instead. We were happy and very much in love, in each other's lives each and every day. Vacation, trips, shopping and even looking for a place together. One day we were happy the next (on our anniversary) he told me he was moving back in with her! I was devestated and in shock, I guess I still am (this was just two weeks ago).

Make overs do our hearts good. Makes us look at ourselves in a different way and gives us that boost to realize the man does not make the woman. It is their loss, it is their problem to overcome, not ours. We are good women who give from the heart and they are more than willing to take, just not to one heart....ours!

A gym will be great for working out the frustrations over the break-up and to put that energy to sculpting your own body. Don't work out and try to improve yourself because you believe it was your body that made him cheat. It's his own downfall and we as women always believe it's something we should have done differently, better or more perfectly!

Look into your heart and know it's a good one. Do the make-over for your own outlook not for another man. Good luck. Broken hearts are hard to repair, but with each crack we receive we learn more for the future.

:)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2003
Thu, 11-27-2003 - 3:33pm
Hi there!!

I guess we all went through such a stage and I can speak for alot of women when I tell u that yes we did want to change our physical appearance. It's a thing you do when you want to mark an end of an era, a change of psychological status or simply a way to make yourself feel better by looking better.

One thing that really does make a difference is your hair. A change in your hair color, style or length will always make a huge statement about you. One of my friends was very upset after a bad break-up. Her boyfriend really loved long hair and she had always tried to keep it looking smooth and straight for him, so when the break up took place she immediately resorted to a Meg Ryan style, short, out of bed curls. I am not saying that you have to make such a drastic change but a look that u never tried before and specially one that you know your ex doesn't like much will always make you feel like a new woman. You could go for highlights or colored extensions-the market is full of options regarding coloring nowadays.

Sometimes a more subtle change will do, such as a new item in your wardrobe, like a blouse in a color that you never wore before, or a chic new handbag that is different from what you're used to carry. The important thing is that you have to realise and keep in mind that what you are doing is for the sole purpose of getting over a stage of sadness or heartbreak, which means that you must'nt let this change take over your life. There are many men out there worthy of you and your emotions and nobody whoever he/she may be is worth giving up your life for...

Have a nice day!!

suffy_78@yahoo.com

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