Sputtering c/p

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2006
Sputtering c/p
15
Fri, 12-10-2010 - 10:52am

Fragments

Flash

Heat from a time

I once knew

With you

Flood my memory

Creating

A pulse

I thought long dead.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2000
Fri, 12-10-2010 - 4:12pm

I can feel the pulse and sense the heat.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2000
Sat, 12-11-2010 - 2:28am

Stacey, since I read Memories earlier tonight, I would guess that this as a prelude to that. I really like this one also; it stands alone quite well.

Embrace change.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2006
Sun, 12-12-2010 - 3:16pm
This is part of a series.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2008
Sun, 12-12-2010 - 6:48pm

Oooo, I like the way you write.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-1999
Mon, 12-13-2010 - 7:08am

A pulse I thought long dead ... love it!

"It is with a strange malice / That I distort the world." -- from The Weeping Burgher by Wallace Stevens
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2006
Mon, 12-13-2010 - 11:56am

Thanks Jackie. Flood is a replacement for pain (at least in my minds eye). And I agree with your thought on using a period after flash, however, my thought was this. The layout allows you a millisecond pause before the next thought, if I add that period it breaks the rush of the flood/memory/pain/emotion that was the reason for the poem. Does that make sense or am I in another realm?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2006
Mon, 12-13-2010 - 11:57am
Thanks Pat. I don't know about working it easily into words. ;) If you saw my writing journal you might get me a Valium! HA.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2008
Mon, 12-13-2010 - 2:40pm

That's a question I keep asking, myself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2000
Mon, 12-13-2010 - 2:42pm

I'll add my thoughts on some of the comments.

Should you put a period after "Flash"?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2006
Mon, 12-13-2010 - 2:57pm
I honestly believe a reader will take from it what they will. And maybe this is why I am not published, but I write for me. To work through things, to figure out my life and experiences and find the "answer". I take edits, thought, crits and work them very willingly, but at the end of the day when I look at the piece, does it still mean what I wanted it to say? IF the answer is yes, then I know it is sound and true. If not, I keep working it. Sometimes the best pieces are the ones I keep going back to for weeks at a time.

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