How do i get my husband to the doctor

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2008
How do i get my husband to the doctor
6
Wed, 01-16-2013 - 9:02am

I think my husband could have diabetes but he wont go to the doctor. He has symptoms like having to go to the bathroom several times a night, having to get something to drink all day, nausea off and on for what seems like months and he has put on a lot of weight. He always needs naps now and he is only 48. He has depression so could that cause these synmptoms too?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008
Thu, 01-17-2013 - 12:50pm

Depression could cause the sleepiness, but combined with all the other symptoms, it does sound like he needs to have it checked out. And getting some guys to go to the doctor when they're not literally gushing blood can be hard; mine is stubborn like that.

Have you tried suggesting that both of you go in for physicals? Kind of like "We'll do it together, for each other". That's how I got my pig-headed hubby in! LOL

Community Leader
Registered: 07-31-1998
Thu, 01-17-2013 - 6:52pm

Hi and welcome to the diabetes board. My name is Mary Frances and I am one of the community leaders for this board. I am a type 2 diabetic, married to a type 2 diabetic and a registered nurse. Any advise I may give is not a substitute for seeking medical advise from a health care practitioner of your choice.

One of the most frustrating areas that we have dealt with on this board is the issue of getting men to get appropriate health care and then following through with whatever is diagnosed. I think the suggestion that you have been given is an excellent one as probably both of you could use an annual exam.

The classic symptoms of diabetes are polyuria, polydipsea, and polyphasia: urinating a lot, drinking a lot and eating alot. These are the most common symptoms but there are others: unexplained weight loss, headaches, upper respiratory infections, sexual dysfunction are some of the others. Unfortunately depression does mimic some of these symptoms. And weight gain is more common with depression than untreated diabetes.

Can you make an appointment for him and tell him when he is supposed to go to the doctor? I have a really smart husband who absolutely refused to learn what he could eat or how much and he almost drove me crazy until I was diagnosed with diabetes myself and I had to stop taking care of him and start taking care of myself. It was amazing what he knew when he had to use it!!

I have a couple of other suggestions: how about you starting to fix healthier meal for all of you. Increase the amount of fruits and veggies that you are eating to at least 5 servings per day and decrease the amount of white carbohydrates (white potatoes, white rice, white sugar, white flour) and fried foods as this would be healthier for everyone in your family. And if at all possible start taking a walk everyday and invite him to come along. Maybe he would go along with this without gripping too much and everyone would be healthier. What do you think of this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2012
Fri, 01-18-2013 - 12:35pm

Mary Frances thanks for your great post.

Here is what happened at our house. My husband, who is 47, has always tried to handle his diabetes with diet. He thought he was doing fine until recently. We went on vacation and he cut his foot on a shell, he forgot his water shoes, and when we got home...wow..it all blew up.

He refuse and refused to go see the Dr thinking his feet were fine, but he pulled a callus off one day and it smelled awful, the entire family jumped him and told him he had to go in or we would figure out a way to make him go in. So needless to say in we went. He was immediately sent to the hospital for surgery the next morning. As is known, with diabetes feet are an important area to watch and my hubby was not watching them carefully enough. Luckily he only had to have his feet "scraped" but he is much more careful now.

We also found out that he now must do shots, diet is not handling his diabetes, and I have to say I am very proud of him these past few months. He tests his blood 4 times a day, reads the labels and watches his carbs and his levels (which were over 300) are rarely over 130s now, though they strive to get them lower, but years of over 300, we have been told will take time for his body to adjust to the lower levels.

The entire family is involved and supports him and does not buy junk food to eat around him. The teens when they want junk food they eat it away from the house so he is not tempted.

Hopefully this is not what your husband is going through, but maybe have him read some of our responses, just might jolt him into that needed check up.

Take care.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-31-1998
Fri, 01-18-2013 - 7:54pm

Thank you telling Kay and us your story. My first endo had a sign in his exam room that said to treat your feet like crown jewels and this is so true for diabetics. I am so glad that your husband was able to save his feet. The number one cause of amputations of feet and legs is diabetes.

More than half of diabetics are treated with insulin so your husband doesn't need to feel alone. I am one of them also! What is his insulin regieme? I am on a long acting insulin twice per day and also on Victoza. It took a long time to convince me to start the Victoza but it has done a really nice job on my blood sugars and has allowed me to decrease my insulin by 11 units per day and also to lose over 10 pounds. Thus far I haven't had any problems with the drug.

Good luck and congratulations. I hope you can pull up a chair and join our conversation.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-31-1998
Fri, 01-18-2013 - 7:54pm

Thank you telling Kay and us your story. My first endo had a sign in his exam room that said to treat your feet like crown jewels and this is so true for diabetics. I am so glad that your husband was able to save his feet. The number one cause of amputations of feet and legs is diabetes.

More than half of diabetics are treated with insulin so your husband doesn't need to feel alone. I am one of them also! What is his insulin regieme? I am on a long acting insulin twice per day and also on Victoza. It took a long time to convince me to start the Victoza but it has done a really nice job on my blood sugars and has allowed me to decrease my insulin by 11 units per day and also to lose over 10 pounds. Thus far I haven't had any problems with the drug.

Good luck and congratulations. I hope you can pull up a chair and join our conversation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2013
Wed, 01-30-2013 - 4:52am

A man with a health problem often suffers in silence or waits for the problem to go away. He won’t see a doctor in the absence of a true emergency or unbearable pain.  I am very sorry for your husband. But I am also extremely sorry for you, my first suggestion is that you get as much support as you can for yourself.

  • Tell him you understand he might be afraid of what the doctor will find. Use logic: If there’s no problem, a checkup will show he is perfectly healthy. If there is a problem, it’s better to find out early so it can be treated.
  • Offer to set up the appointment and even go with him. Make it easy.