Sorry I've been MIA!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2000
Sorry I've been MIA!
Wed, 02-06-2013 - 5:28pm

Besides having some internet problems, I've been feeling a little blah lately.  My FM seems to be flaring, with pain, insomnia, and IBS, and I'm getting used to living alone and being a divorced 40 year-old mom, which is not as exciting as it sounds, lol.  :P  I've gotten a little derailed with my diet and exercise lately, and really need to make a bigger effort to eat well and exercise, though with IBS, I've found it a little difficult to work out, KWIM?  I did manage to get in some yoga yesterday, and I'm going to cook a healthy dinner tonight or else!  It's been a hard few months with the holidays, getting the flu, work being busy, and adjusting to being single and having my oldest move out on his own.  I miss that kid!  My 12 year-old DS and I are the only one's here now, and it's pretty lonely some days, for both of us.  He goes to his brother's apartment every other weekend for a couple of days, since I have to work nights, and I have a babysitter who stays here during the week when I'm working, since he's still too young to stay home alone, but I know he misses his brother as much as I do.  I don't think any of us miss having my ex here, though!  He was always angry and causing drama, so it's much calmer, quieter, and cleaner here without him.  

I have been having a hard time working up the motivation to cook healthy meals for the two of us, which is a major problem and I'm sure one of the reasons I'm not feeling too well.  With just the 2 of us, eating a sandwitch and chips, cereal, or cookies is just so much easier than cooking a big meal that we'll be eating for days.  Plus, we are going out a lot more than we usually do lately, thanks to errands and my DS getting out of chess practice at 7pm.  I really just need to kick myself in the butt and get back into functioning mode!  I don't know about the rest of you, but I use a food journal app on my phone that helps me, and I need to start back with it.  I use Myfitnesspal, becasue it's the easiest to upload from my phone or online.  That and I need to plan out my meals and stick to it.  It's like homework, though; there's always something better and more interesting to do than cook and plan, like going on Facebook or playing Words with Friends!  Plus, I've had to actually start doing more housework, even though I'm not really supposed to, because my DS is at school 11-12 hours a day, 5 days a week, and gone every other weekend, and my older DS doesn't live here anymore.  I need to find a lawn service and maybe a maid to come in every couple of weeks for deep cleaning, because I can't do most of that stuff, due to work and severe allergies.  My ex thinks my son should do all of it, but I can't really see how my 12 year-old is realistically supposed to spend almost 60 hours a week at school and mow, weed eat, cut back trees, etc, AND do housework, too.  If I can't do all that, how is he supposed to?  This is why I have an EX-husband, though.

How's everyone else doing?  What have you been up to lately?  Any motivational speeches for me?  I could probably use them about now.

Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
Fri, 02-08-2013 - 7:58pm


Don't be too hard on yourself!

It's just my ds and me although he's older he has an "Anxiety" disorder.

When my dd moved out on her own it was hard...Still is sometimes honestly.

We miss her and she misses us.

Recently we moved ds and I to a new city so it's been a bit of an adjustment.

I am divorced from my kids dad and honestly he's an *ss, was ALWAYS telling me what a bad job I was doing until I came back with at least I am doing it!

iGNORE your ex and do what's best for you and your ds, it will ALL work out.

My ds and I decided to do a budget make a menu and a shopping list.

Have you tried cooking together?

It's fun!

My dd is a really good cook and an awesome baker.

When they were younger she use to do both their chores but now it is up to him and me but I just don't sweat the small stuff.

If you think you need help get it, I wished I had done that but I struggled with it asking for help, still do but it's getting easier...;)...

My ds and I use to go to my dd or she would come to ours.

It's hard dealing with chronic health conditions.

I am looking forward to my dd coming and spending the night...:)...

My ds and I have kind of got in to a routine.

I am sure you will to...:)...

One of my friends who was married thought I must have the greatest Life!

Like you said being divorced gets taking time to get use to and it is not easy or exciting ALL the time.

I did like him being gone though...;)...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2000
Tue, 02-12-2013 - 10:36am
Thankfully, my new babysitter started last week! My DS is 12, but that's too young to stay home all night alone, so my friend's 17 year-old son is sleeping over during the week when I have to work, AND he came over Saturday and did a lot of yard work for me! He got a ticket and needs to pay his mom back, so score for me! My son and I cook together all the time, as much as he'll do it, anyway. He's just happy to have any food and says everything I cook is delicious. :-) As for the ex being gone? I can honestly say I don't miss him at all, and I've gotten over feeling guilty that I don't miss him. There may be some really tough days when I have to force myself to do anything at all, but even my hardest day has been easier without the ex standing in the middle of the room and demanding everyone look at him, like a 3 year-old. My stress has been cut at least in half with him gone.
Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
Tue, 03-12-2013 - 4:44pm


That's how I feel about my ex to...;)...

It's great he is helping you out, while helping himself out and it's cool to have someone around for your son.

Mine enjoyed supper tonight and last night.

Pasta and hamburger he just

Sounds like you are doin' just Fine...;)...