Have you had your Mammies grammed?!!

Avatar for klrambo
Community Leader
Registered: 10-19-2000
Have you had your Mammies grammed?!!
3
Fri, 09-20-2013 - 2:21pm

It has been a long time since I asked this question.  Figured we could all use a reminder.

According to the National Institute on Breast Cancer every women age 40 and older should have mammograms every 1 to 2 years.

If you have not had this procedure done in a while, plez consider scheduling a mammogram for your self.

Okay......now for a wee bit of levity on the subject....


A BOOB POEM
By Julia Napier


 For years and years they told me,
 Be careful of your breasts.
 Don't ever squeeze or bruise them.
 And give them monthly tests.

 So I heeded all their warnings,
 And protected them by law.
 Guarded them very carefully,
 And I always wore my bra.

 After 30 years of astute care,
 My gyno, Dr. Pruitt,
 Said I should get a Mammogram.
 "O.K," I said, "let's do it."

 "Stand up here real close" she said,
 (She got my boob in line),
 "And tell me when it hurts," she said,
 "Ah yes! Right there, that's fine."

 She stepped upon a pedal,
 I could not believe my eyes!
 A plastic plate came slamming down,
 My hooter's in a vise!

 My skin was stretched and mangled,
 From underneath my chin.
 My poor boob was being squashed,
 To Swedish Pancake thin.

 Excruciating pain I felt,
 Within it's vise-like grip.
 A prisoner in this vicious thing,
 My poor defenseless tit!

 "Take a deep breath" she said to me,
 Who does she think she's kidding?!?
 My chest is mashed in her machine,
 And woozy I am getting.

 "There, that's good," I heard her say,
 (The room was slowly swaying.)
 "Now, let's have a go at the other one."
 Have mercy, I was praying.

 It squeezed me from both up and down,
 It squeezed me from both sides.
 I'll bet SHE'S never had this done,
 To HER tender little hide.

 Next time that they make me do this,
 I will request a blindfold.
 I have no wish to see again,
 My knockers getting steamrolled.

 If I had no problem when I came in,
 I surely have one now.
 If there had been a cyst in there,
 It would have gone "ker-pow!"

 This machine was created by a man,
 Of this, I have no doubt.
 I'd like to stick his balls in there,
 And see how THEY come out.

Co-Community Leader at:
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Avatar for guili12737
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-1997
Sat, 09-21-2013 - 11:41am

I know the poem is suppposed to be funny but, I think it can actually deter women from having a mamo if they take it seriously. I've been having mamograms since the age of 35 since my mom had breast cancer and I am at higher ristk. The pain from the test is not "excrutiating". It doesn't feel good. Yes, it hurts but, it's not THAT bad and it's over in a couple of seconds.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2008
Sun, 10-13-2013 - 12:39pm

LOL how cute!

Yes, I have mine scheduled so thanks for the reminder.

Brenda

Avatar for klrambo
Community Leader
Registered: 10-19-2000
Sat, 11-09-2013 - 9:47am

Well, guili12737, I have always found it easier to deal with painful things if I can face them with a bit of levity!  I have had many of the blasted things and sometimes it hurts far more than it does others.  Perhaps that is because my boobs are more tender on certain days. Or perhaps the technician is sometimes less caring or less well trained or more spiteful!   I am glad for you that you do not feel much pain and that you think it only takes a couple seconds though!

Remember, there are NO dumb questions regarding menopause!

Co-Community Leader at:
50 & Up Friends | Menopause & Perimenopause
 
My Web sites:
50 & Up Friends | Ladybug’s Recipes | Menopause Oasis

You are loved ~~ far more than you may ever know!