When will I be over it?
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|Sat, 02-05-2011 - 10:06am|
I used to post on here many years ago; i'm going through a rough time at the minute and remembered how talking on here used to help me so thought I'd give it a go!
I feel so lost at the moment, I feel almost like I'm drowning sometimes and I don't know what to do! My mum passed away over 2 years ago and I still feel like I'm grieving for her in a big way. She had a long illness and we cared for her at home so as you can imagine I do have some not very nice memories. These memories haunt me so badly where I can think of nothing else, I tell myself to stop it and just think of the good times but it's not good. My mind feels so full of things constantly, the majority of it is my mum and then the usual day to day stuff; work, cleaning, shopping, general rubbish! I feel like I'm tipping over the edge!
I'm not happy at work but I am doing something about this and looking for a new job. I already have an interview lined up and even if i don't get this job i feel confident that something will turn up soon so this isn't a major problem to me.
i just don't feel happy in myself any more, i feel as though i've forgotten who i am. i spend so much time worrying and dwelling on silly things and it exhausts me. then i'm caught in a viceous circle as when i'm tired everything just seems even worse, i end up breaking out in spots and feel awful.
i just don't know what to do, no one seems to understand, least of all my boyfriend. we live together; whenever i cry he ignores and says that i use my mum's death as an excuse sometimes. He never met her so it is hard for him to understand but this really upsets me. i feel like i never get any time to myself and just feel like life is one big struggle at the moment. i'm constantly tired and do not want to get out of bed any morning. all i can think about is sleeping, when i'm at work i just think about going home and going to sleep, how bad is that?!