Worry and relationships..

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2010
Worry and relationships..
6
Thu, 07-28-2011 - 10:45am

An excellent article about excessive worry and how it effects relationships .. take a read!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2008
Thu, 07-28-2011 - 12:48pm

I'm a talker; if something is bothering me in a relationship, rather than stew about it and let it fester into something more, I have to talk to that person about it. Sometimes, just knowing that your spouse is receptive to discussions or just plain listening when something is upsetting you can be a huge help.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2010
Thu, 07-28-2011 - 2:19pm
Hi Recycled! it's nice to see you over here. I agree, knowing your spouse will listen .. even if they only blink and pretend to understand, helps tons. My dh tends to ask why I let the thing that's bothering me bother me at all. And it takes stepping back, seeing a bigger picture to put things into perspective.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2004
Fri, 07-29-2011 - 7:42pm

According to my husband I'm an obsesser.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2010
Fri, 07-29-2011 - 8:25pm
I feel your pain, or the pain you used to feel. I was like that when my now-dh was overseas with the forces. Part of my worry was fear but we had times pre-set and in my mind there was no reason not to call. The occasional time when he couldn't get a line out to home I'd worry and like you described, obsess. I think in this situation it takes being honest with oneself, that others will not always fall into order as we have designated in our minds ... and give them, like you said, the freedom which in turn gives us the freedom as well, from worry.

Hope you're having a great weekend :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2008
Mon, 08-01-2011 - 1:20pm

Your DH and mine sound a lot alike! LOL But I know what you mean about putting things into perspective; he's helped me a lot with that. I remember once, he asked me if worrying about a particular problem would help me find a solution or if it was one of those things that I really had no control over. Now, when I'm faced with a situation that's causing me stress, I step back and ask myself... is it something I can actually do something about or is it out of my hands and I'm just worrying over the outcome? If there's nothing I can actually do to change the outcome, I let it go. Beats the heck out of coming up with a bazillion different sceneries of "what if...?" Now I just wait and deal with the "what if's" if they occur! LOL

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2010
Mon, 08-01-2011 - 3:03pm
They do sound similar! I'm getting a little better as letting the 'chips fall where they may lol! That strategy has proven over and over again to be less painful than stressing while waiting or worrying.

Hope Monday is good in your part of the world!!