I finally went to an Al Anon meeting!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2011
I finally went to an Al Anon meeting!!!!
5
Tue, 01-28-2014 - 9:09pm

And if you have never been I suggest you go! I was scared out of my mind!! I just keep thinking put your big girl panties on and just do it!! I wanted to run out  20 times but I did not! I kept telling myself that I was there for a reason and although I am not happy that my DH has put in the position to where I HAVE to be here I am going to just try!!

It was so odd...I did feel like we just sat around and read all those things you were suppose to read ....I did open up and it was a nice release and let a secret out! One of the ladies said hey here is a book you can buy...I bought it! That was the best money I have ever spent!! I have read 1/4 of it and have decided to read a few pages a day so I can learn what it is saying and not just ram into my mind!

The book has taught me that all the thoughts I have ever had ...all the bad ones all the dark ones are actually what ever one else has. Made me feel so much better because I was worried about my own sanity!

I am learning not to listen to beer openings one right after the other...I am also learning come what may! I have no say! No matter how much I preach about health...it's his health not mine! All I need to worry about is my health and my kids!

I will ask you this...when DH gets drunk I tell the kids leave dad alone he is drunk or if the kids ask me a question I am honest with them. One time my husband said not to do that and I told him they have the right to know for many reasons. And I have no intentions on covering up his secrets with them. It stinks and I hate that my kids see this but this is their path for whatever reason...God has a reason for it...I feel like it's my job to explain what is going on...maybe it will prevent them from making bad choices and it is also to keep them safe.

I plan to attend another meeting...I felt so good after the first one I want to go back! I may go in scared but I come out feeling ALIVE!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2012
Wed, 01-29-2014 - 9:23am

How did you get yourself to go?? I have been thinking about it. I also think my daughter should go. Were there any teens at your meeting?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2011
Wed, 01-29-2014 - 1:31pm

I thought now or never...been saying I was going to go and there is always a reason not too! Company coming over, going out of town...you name it I had a good excuse! So I decided it was important for me to take care of myself mentally! I had done so physically but I needed more. It was what I NEEDED...how can I be a good mom if I could not even think anymore? If I can not be good to myself than I can not be good for the kids.

No Al Ateen....there was nothing there for my kids. Sad but I figured what I am learning I can help them as much as I can. But I have to learn in order to teach them! I have to learn how to separate myself in order for me to think clearly and have a good time. How can I expect them too if I can't!

Go to the meeting...you will come out feeling much better than you do today! And if they offer the book GET IT!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2012
Wed, 01-29-2014 - 2:11pm

I am afraid. I have covered for him for so long that I am afraid to say anything. But I need help.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2011
Wed, 01-29-2014 - 7:20pm

You are fearing the unknown because the only thing you have known is to cover up...so you are comfortable with that! My thought process is I made it through the door I might as well let it all hang out and I did! And I am worth the piece of mind!! So I gave that to myself! Very glad I did! Plus at the meetings you don't have to say one word...just listen. You will find that you are not alone in the least bit! They don't expect you to say anything so if you don't feel up to it than don't. I do suggest you buy the book! That will help break through some barriers. And  you can read as fast or as slow as you want. You can go at your own pace.

I will say the hardest part was once I got there! I wanted to put the car in reverse and high tail it out of there but than I thought no you made it this far and this is for YOU and YOUR sanity! Not the person drinking but for ME!! If I don't take care of myself than who will? And if I can't take care of myself how can I really take care of the kids? I am worth it! I know I am!

You will feel like a million bucks when you come out of the meeting. I know I did! The book simple reenforces some of the things I already know but it also puts things and feelings into words that I could not express if you had asked me how do you feel? And somehow that makes me feel so much better! Kinda like when you go to the dr for a rash and you've had it forever and can't get rid of it but after years and years of trying to treat it you go to the dr and he tells you oh you are allergic to your soap or whatever...it won't cure the allergy but it will make you "aware" of it so you know how to deal with it better. Al Anon does the same thing!

Don't be scared! Do it for you...do it for your sanity...do it for your daughter!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2014
Good to you, and congrats.