Alcoholic husband drying out - not sure where MY head is now

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
Alcoholic husband drying out - not sure where MY head is now
9
Tue, 03-15-2011 - 1:16pm

It's been a long journey.

         
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2011
I just want to say you are not alone. I'm going thru a similar situation.

I just bought Carole Bennett's book "Reclaim Your Life: You and the Alcohol/Addict." I just started reading it so I'm not sure what to think but the author has gone thru everything you have described. Right now I'm looking for as much info I can get and all the support/resources I can find.

Best wishes to you. I will be looking forward to the responses you get, as well.

Lil Pepper
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2008
Melody Beattie's book, The Language of Letting Go is a fantastic book for co-dependency. All we can really do is work on ourselves. And Alanon is a wise choice. I would just encourage you to not give up on it if you don't like the meeting after trying it a couple of times. Find another one. They're all so different. It's great that you are trying to help yourself. This is one way to make thing about you for a change. It's all so scary, but if you stay the course on making yourself better, life will get better for you. Best of luck.
Community Leader
Registered: 09-14-1997

Ahhhh....the world of the spouse/significant other/loved one...we alcoholics are obnoxious when we drink and sometimes even more so when we first stop drinking. Remember that not drinking means we are dry...sober takes a lot longer!!! The reason why people need programs or therapy or education or religion when they stop drinking is not just to stop, but also to change our behavior. It takes time.

You have every right to your distrust, anger, fear and exasperation. Having said that, I also know that if you hold on to those feelings, you are the one hurting yourself. So, what do you do? Well, for one, you come here and vent. Second, you might want to check out AlAnon- hard to do when you have little ones, especially with one with special needs. Fortunately, AlAnon is online (although being able to get out to meetings would be great for you also). Therapy is another choice--if you can get to one.

You might want to check out these passages from the book Alcoholics Anonymous so that you can see you are not alone with how you feel. http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_bigbook_chapt8.pdf

http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_bigbook_chapt9.pdf

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004

Thanks for the feedback.

I read a great line from a book today when I was at the store trying to find a self-help book.

         
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2007

Your plight sounds so familiar...I feel pretty hopeless myself these days.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004

I'm giving him a year to get his $h!t together.

         
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2011
Good luck. Sounds like you are making good progress. Defining what you will and won't tolerate is a good step. I've been enjoying that new book I bought, Reclaim Your Life. It has good information about the alcoholic and the family members.

For example, not monitoring or quizzing his recovery. I found myself doing that daily... now I will try to back off. There are also tips on how not to engage in the "go round"... cuz like you said it can drive ME crazy.

This is not easy. Hugs to you. One day at a time. Thanks for keeping us updated.

Pep
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2006
I'm really interested in going to Al-anon online! How do I get connected with that?
Community Leader
Registered: 09-14-1997

Hi

Try this link: http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html

Or try your local phone book. AlAnon might have its own number, or the AA hotline might know.