My h and I have been together for 15 years.
Hello and welcome!
Sounds to me like you are sticking to your guns. He can get sober- should get sober- without you at his side. Getting sober requires a kind of tunnel vision that seems selfish. That doesn't mean he can't see you and get together as a family, it does mean that you are not responsible in any way, shape, or form for his recovery- he is! That doesn't mean you can't drive him to meetings, but it does mean that you don't force him in the car!!!
It is a thin line between enabling him and helping him.