He won't move out

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2011
He won't move out
12
Mon, 04-04-2011 - 11:26am
So, I've asked my BF to move out. Told him that I was threw with the lies. He screwed up. It's time for him to go.

But he won't. He tries to pretend we didn't have that conversation. I will repeat myself and say "we are over. What are your plans for moving out."

He insists he will make things better. Starts to make those same promises he has said before... I tell him I don't believe him and he is out of chances. Still he doesn't move out...

Any suggestions?

Lil Pepper

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Community Leader
Registered: 09-14-1997
Mon, 04-04-2011 - 3:56pm

Do you have a lease or deed? Is he on it? If he is, then you might have trouble. If he isn't then tell him that you care to much about him to get the authorities involved with him leaving, so would he please not make you go to that extent.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2011
Mon, 04-04-2011 - 5:55pm
I have a lease and no, he's not on it. That is a good approach. I'll try that.... Thanks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Mon, 04-04-2011 - 8:20pm
Give him a deadline (for example, this weekend). Have a plan in place if he does not get his things out. Arrange to have some friends help move his things to the front yard, or Goodwill, or whatever. Change the locks. Sometimes people have to be hit over the head (literally and figuratively) before they "get it." Whatever you decide, make sure you have a plan in place!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2002
Tue, 04-05-2011 - 9:03am

When I was with my alcoholic ex, he was on my lease at first, and there was nothing I could do to get him out of my home without court intervention, which meant a 30 day eviction.


 


"OMG, I got engaged, the world will never be the same!...."


&nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2002
Tue, 04-05-2011 - 9:05am

LOL! Leslie I have to tell you, my youngest son works at the "Donations" door at Goodwill, he's seen many an angry girlfriend "donating" her ex's things!


 


"OMG, I got engaged, the world will never be the same!...."


&nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Wed, 04-06-2011 - 7:20am

...worst case scenario (legal standpoint) is that you have to begin eviction proceedings...do not complicate matters by continuing a physcial relationship with him...don't eat dinner together...don't watch t.v. together...sleep on your own couch if you have to until you get him out...I would tell him that he needs to leave by a certain time (as Leslie suggested), I would let him know that you intend on calling the police on that day as soon as it is one hour past the dead line and that you intend on telling them that he is a drug user...and, I would follow through...but, I would do this only if you intend to put him out and end the relationship...if you are stilll having sex, sleeping with, or spending couple time with him, I'd save my breath and put up with it, I guess....I know that once (in Kentucky) someone is allowed to move in, they have resident status and have to be evicted...so, you may have to add in the "call police and tell them you're a drug addict' part to scare him out...good luck...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2007
Wed, 04-06-2011 - 9:21am

My drunken husband

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2011
Wed, 04-06-2011 - 2:00pm
I didn't write a letter but I made it clear on March 7th that he had 30 days. I called it the assessment period. And that if after that time i decide that trust cannot be rebuilt, he is to move. I didn't formally write it tho, but I did send it in a text message. My sister thinks a text message will suffice in today's techno times. I'll admit tho, during most of the 30 days I was "in relation" (sleeping with him).

However, last week, after discovering more lies, I told him it was over and that I already made my assessment. I have been sleeping separately since then. He says he loves me, but I haven't said it back since last week. And I refuse to kiss him.

I think he's getting it since it's been a week and I'm sticking to my guns. He made an advancement yesterday and I wax quite clear in my "no". Then he said "so, you really want me to move out?" Again I told him "yes. you screwed up. I gave you plenty of chances to "prove" yourself but you continued to lie." again, I told him to make a plan for moving out. I'm going to see if he comes up with his own plan, if not, I'll tell him my plan. I have a week off starting April 18th. That should be a good time to pack up his stuff and move it to his Dad's.

Wish me luck.

Pep
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2011
Wed, 04-06-2011 - 2:22pm
Oops (lol) didn't mean to make it sound like I was sleeping with him for "most of the 30 days" . Hahaha... I meant I was continuing "in relation", for example eating together, going on 'dates' etc. The sex was part of it but it came out sounding wrong in my above post.

Pep
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2001
Sat, 04-23-2011 - 5:49pm

No, I'm NOT new here. I've just been on hiatus....for quite a long while :-)

And now that THAT'S been established:

So its YER home, ya've dealt with his crap long enuff and ya've told him ya've had enuff....and now he don't wanna leave? Oh NO honey....that wouldn't fly in MY world. As a matter of fact, I've "been there, done that" a few too many times myself. It didn't work for me THEN 'n it sure wouldn't work for me NOW at this late stage of this game called Life.

Does he work? If so, after he leaves for work gather up all his clothes 'n belongings, stuff it all into boxes or bags and shove it outside the front door. Or, if ya wanna be a REAL bitch about it, just grab it all up without containin' it.........just THROW it! (makes it much more dramatic that way.......'n its a helluva lot more cathartic for ya). Then change the locks on all the doors.

He'll get the message loud 'n clear, I promise.

"The same people you misuse on your way up you might meet up on your way down" ~ Little Feat ~

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