How do you set boundaries?
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|Thu, 03-24-2011 - 10:46am|
I was in a relationship with a "functioning" alcoholic (my label, not his) for 2.5 years. I ended things last June. We have started talking again and though the problems still exist, we both care very deeply for each other and have had great difficulty getting over each other and moving on. He is not promising any change, but says that he wished I had been more aggressive in my discontent with his behavior and set some firm boundaries. He said he needed help and encouragement. He knows he drinks a lot but has never admitted he has a problem. He just says "I'm a good guy, but I'm not perfect". I'm not sure I want to step on that road again, but I do feel that I should have been more honest about my feelings and tried more boundaries. At the time, it just seemed like so much work and I was going to Al-Anon while he was at the bar, which made me feel pretty resentful. He has his bar/night life with his buddies and I am usually at home alone on week nights (we live in different cities).
I was just wondering how do you go about setting boundaries while in a long distance relationship? Has anyone had success with this?