I can't open up

I'm sure almost everyone here understands that. It's strange but I don't really even feel like I'm opening up when I'm here (even though I am) because I would never say most of this stuff to people I actually know. But it has been incredibly helpful for me to write here because it's helping me to sort out my own thoughts and emotions. I'm on other boards mostly but I use them almost like journals. I throw my racing thoughts out to the universe and inevitably, most come back to me in the form of encouragment and hope.