new here, new to helping someone recover :'(

Welcome to the board...I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this addiction. As you now know, addiction affects everyone around the addict, not just the addict. Angry words are definately our first thought and action. Trouble is, those words do absolutely no good. What I have found to work for more folks is to wait till the anger settles, then make your list of things that are NOT allowed. Drugging in the home, taking family funds to buy drugs, driving while high, etc. are a few you might want to think about. Once those are listed, then set an action if they are not respected. One action is moving out. Another is going to a treatment center. There are others that you might want to include. The most important thing is to stand by your word. If you say that he has to move out if he drugs and drives, then stick to your word. If you say he has to go to treatment if he dips into family money to drug, STICK TO YOUR WORD. If you dont, then you are just uttering empty threats and you get more frustrated and he keeps on doing what he is doing. He has no reason to change if you just threaten and he knows that, given a few days, all will be well in HIS mind again. You might also want to attend a good Nar-Anon group. This is for family and friends of addicts and its a great support and comfort for the people affected. Addicts and alcoholics can make well people sick thru their addictions. Please keep posting. Let us know how you are. Let us know what you are doing and what you find to be working or not working for you. This information can help someone else who finds themself in your shoes. God bless.....