So much anger

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
So much anger
3
Fri, 03-18-2011 - 2:59pm

I really need to learn how to let it go, but I have so much anger towards my husband.

         
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2007
In reply to: kimamas
Fri, 03-18-2011 - 6:30pm

I can understand the anger.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
In reply to: kimamas
Fri, 03-18-2011 - 7:19pm
Your feelings are very normal and to be expected - and you are taking exactly the right action by going to Al-Anon to help you deal with them. Remember, your husband has a disease, and although it is not his fault he has it, it is up to him now to do something about it. If he had cancer or diabetes, you would not probably feel so angry, so if you place his "problem" with a disease label, it may help to gain some perspective. He has to work on his recovery, and you have to do whatever it takes to take care of your recovery. There is a wonderful book by Melodie Beatty called "Co-Dependent No More" - I grew up in an alcoholic hom and I could totally related to her description of the anger and resentment I felt. Later, when I developed the disease of alcoholism, I had to take care of that by going to AA. Being a co-dependent recovering alcoholic I sure have had to learn a lot!
Best wishes. Know that you are not alone and we truly understand.
Leslie
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2012
In reply to: kimamas
Mon, 01-16-2012 - 7:47pm
Idk where you are with this but I'm in this exact situation. My H's alcoholism turned me into a zombie. I existed to take care of everyone and everything and make sure we were all OK. He's been in recovery for months and is healthier and happier than I can ever remember. So I should be happy this guy I've stood by so long has finally found himself right?

Wrong. I'm angry and completely lost. I feel like I've been emotionally and physically gutted. I almost resent his ability to recover. Alcohol was the thing that ruined him. He can walk away from that and be the hero. HE was what's ruined me. So now, when he's finally recovering, I walk away and am the woman who broke up our family?

Good luck to you. This "disease" is a virus that has crippled me, and I didn't even have the luxury of being numbed by alcohol.