Trying to be supportive during detox

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2011
Trying to be supportive during detox
8
Fri, 03-11-2011 - 5:45pm
This is tough on me as well as tough on him. I've been doing some research and getting off of suboxen has intense hellish withdrawal symptoms. BF is at day 4 or 5 and feeling the worst of it.... but I've read the insomnia can last for weeks. He wasn't able to sleep at all last night.

Called me today saying that if he can't sleep tonight perhaps he needs to go to the emergency room.... (but I read online the ER won't do anything for insomnia)

Grr... I get the feeling a suboxone doctor is what he needs but in the meantime I'm struggling with how to be supportive. I'm thinking, I guess I shouldn't baby him, but perhaps getting mad isn't right either. Maybe I'm trying to be too perfect. And I'm starting a bad PMS cycle too. I'm angry and irritable and anxious too.

When he calls me, perhaps he's looking for support... but all I wanna do is yell at him for getting himself in this mess in the first place... on top if that I still only believe half of what he says... so I'm always accusing him ... "did you call your friend?" "are you taking anything illegal" ... that sorta thing. I doubt the accusations ate helpful to him but I don't want to end up being the doormat.

Ack! Any advice? Thanks in advance. Thanks for letting me share.

Pep
Community Leader
Registered: 09-14-1997
Fri, 03-11-2011 - 8:15pm

Three phrases

I know you can do this.

You can do it.

I am so proud of you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2011
Tue, 03-15-2011 - 8:23am
Ok... We are on the other side of detox. I wonder if he will lie to me again. I wonder what his chance for relapse are. I have been experiencing the worst PMS ever! I felt like a shell of a person yesterday. BF and I went to lunch and tried to enjoy the spring-like weather. Maybe that helped. I just have so much anxiety right now. I haven't had any luck finding a therapist for myself yet... I wonder if I need an antidepressant. I still have my Alanon meeting tonight. That does help. I feel like I get real life support and I don't feel as hopeless.

Lil Pepper
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
Tue, 03-15-2011 - 5:28pm

I know what you are going through.

         
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2011
Tue, 03-15-2011 - 6:48pm
I have a therapist appointment for this Friday. It will be my first visit with this one... I'm hoping for the best but I guess there is no instant cure. It's one day at a time.

Today my neck and back hurt like crazy.

BF and I got into an argument mostly because of mistrust. He has been looking for a day job but with no luck for almost two years. Today he was helping a friend with yard work to make some extra cash. But they only did one house, and he spent all his money ($15) on lunch, he claims. What a big waste and that triggered my anger and mistrust. I feel like i don't trust myself anymore either. One day at a time. I had a bad day today, but tomorrow is a new day.

Thanks for understanding where I've been.

Pep
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
Tue, 03-15-2011 - 7:06pm

Hope it works for you.

         
Community Leader
Registered: 09-14-1997
Wed, 03-16-2011 - 7:17am

Pep

Good for you for trying to get help! You are right, you need to take care of you. Supportive is one thing, but that never means submerging ourselves in their recovery.

Thank you for keeping us posted!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2011
Fri, 11-04-2011 - 5:19pm
i know it's been months since you posted this...but i just want to say GOD Bless you for being there i know it's tough especially if he wasn't so nice while he was using all of your concerns are valid, I'm on suboxone and i really wish i would have chosen complete recovery when i was in rehab and just would have suffered the pain while in a controlled environment instead of "replacement therapy" by going on suboxone bc it's not different than using opioid drugs, it just stays in your system longer than the pills... doctors also need to be honest with their patients when putting them on opioid drugs for long term for chronic pain.. they need to tell the truth that you'll become physically and psychologically dependent and you will have to keep increasing the amt of the drug to get the same effect and pretty soon you will need the pills JUST TO FUNCTION forget about your pain, IT IS HELL and i let it ruin my life for too long... 9 years and suboxone 2 yrs, really it's just trading one addiction for another, i urge anyone in rehab to take the hard road and try to do it with suboxone bc really your haven't over come anything your still addicted, i know if i could have done it differently i would have... anyway back to the point i think it was great that you were there for him and i also know sometimes it can be a hard thing to do depending on the negative effects the dependency had on your relationship... hopefully he made it thru it ok and you 2 are on back on tract with a normal relationship...Take care and GOD Bless!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2011
Wed, 02-08-2012 - 1:50pm

Hi,