Why do they confess?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2011
Why do they confess?
4
Fri, 03-04-2011 - 12:09pm
So I've been wondering this... why does the user/addict come clean and confess? Is it only when they get caught and backed into a corner? It is to stop using? or keep using but openly? Is it to get help? stay together? break up? Is it because they love you or don't love you?

Obviously I'm not responsible for BF's addictions and behaviors and I am only responsible for my own thoughts/feelings/actions.... but I was wondering if the confession was part of the manipulation or if it was genuine.

Lil pepper
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2011
Fri, 03-04-2011 - 2:41pm
Lil Pepper, the answer is all of the above. Only you will know by his actions not his words if he is serious and wants to get help. Helping one you love is not codependency. If he is willing to get clean, make sure you investigate all of the options available to him. AA/NA are not the only way, although they work for some. The program doesn't suit everyone and didn't suit me at all. Look for non twelve step alternatives. I found the programs that put the power to change in the individuals hands worked better than saying I was powerless and waiting for a diety to save me. Good Luck. Remember what he DOES is more important than what he says!
Community Leader
Registered: 09-14-1997
Fri, 03-04-2011 - 3:46pm

Hello and welcome!

It is nice to have options! Could you tell us more about the path, what program did you use? I love learning more!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Sat, 03-05-2011 - 5:11pm

Honesty - that is what recovery is all about.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2011
Sat, 03-05-2011 - 7:19pm
Thank you all for the support. Best wishes to all on this board.