Yep, it's me again with an update

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2011
Yep, it's me again with an update
Thu, 02-09-2012 - 5:29am
Hello, I was just reading some of my posts from last April... I can't believe I'm back. That boyfriend I finally got to move out... well we started seeing each other again last August. I guess I was hoping he changed and/or quit the suboxen (and other drugs).

It re-started innocent enough. I had a flat tire and needed help. He was there for me. But quickly he moved in again... well, not really moved in.. More like wouldn't go home. sigh.

He kept insisting the drug use was in the past. But my gut didn't believe him. Then finally, I ordered a drug test from online... He took it and failed. Guess he didn't think it would show up. Grrr. But I knew he was lying. I just didn't have a way to prove it.

The good news is that he didn't threaten suicide or refuse to go home. He went home. I told him he couldn't come back til he tested clean.

However, my landlord coincidently called and said he can't be living with me. Or they won't renew my lease. I guess it's a good thing he was already out. But now I don't have the leverage of telling him he can come back when he tests clean.

Oh well... I feel better now that he's gone. Once again I'm relieved that the liar is gone. I know it will hit me soon and I'll start missing him. It's seems like a "minor" problem (using suboxen and lying about it) yet I know it isn't minor. It's major and he is an untrustworthy person and I DESERVE better.

Thanks for the support.

Lil Pepper
Community Leader
Registered: 09-14-1997
Thu, 02-09-2012 - 5:52am

When people drink and use, they say that they aren't that bad and that nothing bad has happened. Recoverying people say, "You are right....not YET." The same is true of the suboxen and isn't that bad NOT YET.

I am glad you know you deserve better. Stick to your guns.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Thu, 02-09-2012 - 8:57pm
Yes, you DO deserve better. Have you thought about attending some Al-Anon or Narc-Anon meetings? It might be helpful for you to find out why you have been attracted to him and maybe help you to choose a relationship that is healthy in your future!
Glad you are back and posted - we will support you too!