Am I healing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Am I healing?
10
Mon, 01-09-2012 - 6:06am

Hi friends.

I was laying in bed and I thought of the name of this board:

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Mon, 01-09-2012 - 8:38am

Hey Josie,

yes you are healing, we all are.



iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2010
Mon, 01-09-2012 - 10:47am

Josanna: I am glad to hear that things are slowly improving for you. I find it seems as if I am, but something will throw me and I am a blubbering mess. And it feels like a much scarier world to me. Since my husband's death came out of nowhere, I fear what could happen next, who could I lose next? Its difficult to carry on like the person I used to be.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Mon, 01-09-2012 - 12:59pm

Hi, and I know what you mean, the grieving book we used called it grief bursts, or I have heard it described as a wave crashing into the beach or trying to find your way out of the wilderness.

I know I can never carry on like the person I used to be as being a wife was intertwined with ALL that I did.

My husband suddenly died too,

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2011
Mon, 01-09-2012 - 6:39pm

I had a very different experience than you so in some aspects I felt an immediate healing or release. there are other things i can't even speak of that I compartmentalize and do not allow my mind to focus on - i've had practice on not allowing myself to dwell on loss but to constantly look for solutions on how to move forward and doing it.

After about 18 months of feeling like someone was constantly standing on my chest, like I had been stabbed in the chest and it was a daily game of pushing it in further or twisting it that the knife was finally removed.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Tue, 01-10-2012 - 5:55am
"I can so agree with you saying: I can smile, I can enjoy things but he's not there to share it with and it takes adjustment."

I was thinking earlier today of "acceptance", I am getting to the point where I accept that my husband died, not saying I like it but the serenity prayer is sure true, isn't it?

take care, Josie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Tue, 01-10-2012 - 11:26am



Community Leader
Registered: 09-14-1997
Tue, 01-10-2012 - 7:42pm

I don't know if I am healing or if life has interfered with my grief. Doing the things that need to be done on a daily basis as a wife and teacher and mom, well, it doesn't leave much time for grieving.

I do unfortunately know that life goes on...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Thu, 01-12-2012 - 3:20pm

Hey Beth,

I think it always shows how courageous the bereaved person is, that they continue to do what has to be done simply because it does



Community Leader
Registered: 09-14-1997
Fri, 01-13-2012 - 3:14pm

Thanks Promise. Sometimes it is hard to tell if I have even processed everything that has happened in the last year.

As the first anniversary of my FIL's death draws near, I have been to the funeral of my dad's cousin and yesterday one of my dad's sister, a woman who was my wonderful aunt, also passed away. Add to that the fact that my eldest daughter is seeing a surgeon at the end of the month to see what the nodules on her thyroid are. Then in May she sees the endocrinologist, and after that we get to make an appointment with a rheumatologist.

Many days I think that the only think holding me together is that I am too tired to expend more energy


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Sat, 01-14-2012 - 5:44am

Hey Beth,

sounds very much to me like life is really crushing you down right now.