Christmas Eve ramblings

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Christmas Eve ramblings
7
Sat, 12-24-2011 - 6:33am

Sitting here crying, missing my man so very very much.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2011
Sat, 12-24-2011 - 3:22pm
It will be a good christmas. I don't feel part of my heart is in heaven. He lives in me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Sat, 12-24-2011 - 4:23pm

Hey Josie,

you stop being so hard on yourself sweetie . You are not a bad wife just because you didn't stop at DH's grave. ~HUGS~

It's bound to be hard sweetie but you made a good choice in not doing stuff you are not able to cope with. You'll come through, we always do, but there are bound to be more tears than smiles for a time to come.

If eating sugary and fatty stuff helps you right now then that's OK. you can take that in hand at a later date. Don't beat on yourself \ok?

Love

Promise



iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Sun, 12-25-2011 - 5:16am
Merry Christmas. that is a beautiful thought of him living in you.
Hugs, Josie
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Sun, 12-25-2011 - 5:22am

Thanks Promise, my therapist always reminds me not to beat myself up so much.

I did make it to church, the 2 friends I had hoped to go with, didn't go, but I made myself walk in alone, then found a husband of a friend as she had to sit with the choir, sat with him, then later another friend came into the same pew.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2011
Sun, 12-25-2011 - 6:45am
This is horrible. I still have gifts to wrap. I woke to find my back killing me for no particular reason. Almost passed out on the kitchen floor, had tto sit down on the floor to avoid going out only to start to dry heave....no drinking so that isn't the culprit. now im lying on the couch trying to come up with a plan. lying here seems like the idea for now. crawling seems a good option to get to the wrapping paper. aaarrrrggghhh!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Sun, 12-25-2011 - 4:31pm

,Hey Josie,

I am real glad you were able to go to church and also have someone to sit with.

Yes, I am lucky to have DP, he is a wonderful person but he can never stop the pain I still have from losing Luke. Even when we have moved forward, that pain still will stay with us.

Love

Promise



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Sun, 12-25-2011 - 4:44pm

I read in a book somewhere that those who live on in our hearts and memories never truly are lost to us, they will forever live within us.

Love

Promise