Dealing with death of son

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2011
Dealing with death of son
6
Wed, 05-25-2011 - 1:34pm

Hello everyone,

My name is Abby and my son Paul was killed in a car accident on April 3, 2011. He was 27 years old and he was my only child.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2008
Wed, 05-25-2011 - 2:11pm
I think you need to do what is right for you, and actually is probably good for both of you to stay connected. Often when there is a death we lose not only the person that died but a lot of relationships too. She probably needs you as much as you do her. Its her connection to her fiance, and your connection to your son. If that makes any sense.

People think they know what is best but unless they've BTDT, they have no clue. I am truly sorry about your son. I can't imagine the pain of that loss. Have you thought about any support groups in person? Some people find them comforting. HUGS to you!!

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Thank you Dedi and Kelly for my
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2011
Wed, 05-25-2011 - 3:05pm
Thank you for your condolences and hugs hubbswifey. I do think it good to stay connected with her and I want to because she is a sweet girl and I loved her ever since my son introduced me to her and I want to help and her family as much as I can. Right now she is somewhat heavily medicated and I don't think she is aware of me during visits but hopefully once some of the meds are decreased she can communicate somewhat better with me. I know once she starts to recover her grief will set in.

I have thought about support groups and I am considering it. But right now my I want to focus on help my son's fiancee and her family out. I'm thinking about going to support groups in several months.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Thu, 05-26-2011 - 3:06pm

Hey Abby,

I am so sorry for your loss,



iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2011
Fri, 05-27-2011 - 12:58am
Thank you promiseplease for the condolences. I agree if Erica had been my daughter in law people wouln't be expecting me to walk away. I realize what I'm doing is right for me. But I do know Erica will have to move on with her life and I hope she moves on to someone else. I will stay around here. These boards seem like a good place.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Fri, 05-27-2011 - 4:10pm

Hey Abby,

yes, Erica will move on with her life but when the time is right for her to do so. meanwhile I think she is very blessed to have you in her life, supporting her as you do.



Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
Sat, 05-28-2011 - 7:45pm

I think it's awesome!

You both loved your son and will Always have a connection and a "Special" bond.

Ignore the nay-sayers and do want you want/need to do.

I am sure you will of great comfort to one another.

I love that!

Nightangel