Dealing with Holidays

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Dealing with Holidays
11
Mon, 11-01-2010 - 11:41pm

I know I am not the only one who will find dealing with Holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas very hard to get through .



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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Wed, 11-03-2010 - 1:51am

Well this will be my first time without my husband around the holidays. I have tons of family around. Honestly I dont have any desire to be with them. I kinda just want to hang out with my 2yr old. We have thanksgiving, christmas, and 10 days later is her 3rd birthday.

For Thanksgiving, and I wanted to take her to the movies, then maybe pop in on a family dinner. I want to start a tradition with her. But I'm not ready this year. For Christmas or her birthday, I kind of want to take my daughter away and go on a vacation, just the 2 of us. To be alone from everyone feeling sorry for us.

I dont want to forgo all the holidays though. They we always such a happy time for us, but it seems so unbearable right now!

Karri,


Mommy to Lilly Mae


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Wed, 11-03-2010 - 9:25am
I think a tradition of taking her to the movies on Thanksgiving, or the night before, is a good one. It's something just for the 2 of you.

I've always wanted to go on vacation for Christmas. If you do that, you'll have to let us know how it goes.

I know it's going to be hard, but remember that the family will be missing your husband as well. It might be very healing for you all to spend a little time together.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Wed, 11-03-2010 - 12:50pm

Hi Karri,

It will be a tough time for you so I think you should do exactly what you need to do to get yourself through i t.



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Wed, 11-03-2010 - 12:57pm

Hi Amy,

I always think it is a good idea to start some new traditions and agree Karri and her her DD



iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Wed, 11-03-2010 - 12:58pm
Yes, I know what you mean, and I hope you're able to do that.

Community Leader
Registered: 01-03-2004
Thu, 11-04-2010 - 10:23pm

Promise,

I am so glad I found this board and this thread. I have long just "endured" the holidays because of selfish family members, self-centered and mean-spirited in-laws, and unmet expectations. I am the daugther who always shows up no matter what and I am the one who usually has to pick up the pieces of the latest dysfunctional holiday gathering. And I dread the approach of every Thanksgiving and Christmas because it's not about joyful celebration of a date or event; its about getting through another holiday and watching my mother be disrespected, disappointed and crushed because someone doesn't show and said they would, someone comes and has a fit and pouts like a child for the entire event, or someone makes a nuisance of themselves adding to the stress and frustration of the gathering.

I envy people who look forward to the holidays becuase they actually like their family. I would glady skp from Nov. 1 to Jan. 2. I wouldn't miss a thing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Fri, 11-05-2010 - 5:07pm

Hi and a warm welcome to the board,



Community Leader
Registered: 01-03-2004
Fri, 11-05-2010 - 8:57pm

Promise,

I apologize for an incomplete post. I was drawn to your board because I like the thread topic. I am especially stressed by this year's holidays because my sister died of breast cancer this summer. This just adds a whole new layer of stress on the upcoming holidays - on top of all the toxic family behavior.

I have made alternative plans for Thanksgiving Day for several years primarily because I had to work the day after and my mother live 4.5 hours one way from where I live. Usually, my mother spent some part of the major holidays with my sister and her husband. She did last year and that's when we realized my sister's cancer had spread and she was terminal.

This year I'm especially anxious because my mother has her heart set on having my brother in law and her grandson come for Tgiving. However, he hasn't communicated with us since my sister's death and my mother has become increasingly distraught over my sister's death. There's lots more in the background on this but it's causing me to wish for Jan. 2 even earlier this year!

Thanks again.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2009
Sat, 11-06-2010 - 2:42pm

I am so very sorry for your loss.



iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
Sun, 11-07-2010 - 4:53am

Hi.

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